myfladoptations

The Last Teardrop: A Story of Hope, Music, and the Transformative Power of Adoption

Fri, 12 Dec 2025 03:52:38 GMT

“The Last Teardrop” tells the incredible true story of singer Bobby Wilson, his journey through the foster care system, and a stunning discovery that changes his life forever.

This powerful film not only sheds light on the complexities of foster care and adoption in America but also features a familiar face from our very own community: Tammy Holcombe, the Executive Director of My Florida Adoptions.

In the world of music, there are stories of talent, passion, and perseverance. But every so often, a story emerges that transcends the stage, touching upon the very essence of human connection, identity, and the search for belonging. “The Last Teardrop” is one such story. The film, which has been garnering accolades such as “mind-blowing” from Indie Cinema Showcase and “gripping” from ScreenHub, follows the life of Bobby Wilson, an entertainer who has captivated audiences with his tribute to the legendary Jackie Wilson. But as Bobby delves deeper into his own past, he uncovers a secret that connects him to the music icon in a way he never could have imagined.

This is more than just a music documentary. It’s a poignant exploration of the American foster care system, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and a celebration of the healing power of adoption. And for us at My Florida Adoptions , it’s a story that resonates deeply with our mission and the work we do every day.

The Story of Bobby Wilson: A Journey of Discovery

Bobby Wilson’s life has been anything but ordinary. Born into foster care, he navigated a childhood marked by trauma and uncertainty. Yet, through it all, he found solace and a sense of purpose in music. His incredible talent and stage presence led him to create a renowned tribute act honoring the one and only Jackie Wilson, a pioneer of soul music. But what Bobby didn't know was that his connection to Jackie Wilson was more than just musical admiration—it was a matter of blood.

“The Last Teardrop” documents Bobby’s emotional journey as he uncovers the truth about his parentage: Jackie Wilson was his biological father. This revelation sends shockwaves through his life, forcing him to confront his past, his identity, and the very definition of family. The film masterfully weaves together Bobby’s personal narrative with rare archival footage of Jackie Wilson, creating a compelling and unforgettable story of two men, one unbelievable story.

A Spotlight on Foster Care and Adoption

Beyond the captivating personal story of Bobby Wilson, “The Last Teardrop” serves as a powerful platform to raise awareness about the foster care and adoption systems in the United States. The film features interviews with leading experts in the field, including Dr. John DeGarmo of The Foster Care Institute, who provides invaluable insights into the challenges and triumphs of the foster care journey. Dr. DeGarmo, who, along with his wife, has fostered over 60 children, brings a wealth of knowledge and compassion to the film, highlighting the urgent need for loving and supportive homes for children in care.

This is where the story hits close to home. We are thrilled to share that Tammy Holcombe, the esteemed Executive Director of My Florida Adoptions , was in attendance at the premiere of “The Last Teardrop.” Her presence at this important event underscores our agency’s commitment to supporting films and initiatives that bring much-needed attention to the world of adoption. Tammy, who has dedicated over 30 years of her life to the field of adoption, was seen at the premiere with Dr. DeGarmo, a testament to the collaborative spirit of the adoption community.

My Florida Adoptions: A Beacon of Hope for Families

At My Florida Adoptions , we believe that every child deserves a loving and permanent family. We are a full-service, private adoption agency with a team of caring and experienced professionals who are dedicated to guiding both birth parents and adoptive parents through the adoption process. With offices in Clearwater, Tampa, Orlando, and New Port Richey, we are proud to serve families throughout the state of Florida.

Our services are designed to provide comprehensive support to everyone involved in the adoption journey. We offer a wide range of resources for adoptive parents , from initial consultations to post-adoption support. We also provide compassionate and non-judgmental counseling for birth parents who are considering adoption, ensuring that they have the information and support they need to make the best decision for themselves and their child.

The Importance of Adoption: A Lifeline for Children

Stories like Bobby Wilson’s are a powerful reminder of the transformative power of adoption. For children in the foster care system, adoption can be a lifeline, providing them with the stability, love, and support they need to thrive. In Florida alone, there are thousands of children waiting for their forever families. According to the Florida Department of Children and Families, in 2022, 3,931 children were adopted from the foster care system, but 8,615 were still waiting. [1]

Choosing to adopt is a life-changing decision, and at My Florida Adoptions , we are here to help you every step of the way. We understand that the adoption process can seem daunting, but with our experienced team by your side, you can navigate the journey with confidence and peace of mind.

Watch the Trailer and Get Involved

We encourage you to watch the official trailer for “The Last Teardrop” on YouTube and to learn more about this incredible film. You can find the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAn9BbbjFC0 .

If you are interested in learning more about adoption, we invite you to contact us at My Florida Adoptions. Our team is available 24/7 to answer your questions and to provide you with the information you need to take the next step in your adoption journey. Whether you are a prospective adoptive parent or a birth parent considering adoption, we are here to help.

“The Last Teardrop” is more than just a movie; it’s a movement. It’s a call to action to support children in foster care, to celebrate the beauty of adoption, and to recognize the profound impact that a loving family can have on a child’s life. We are proud to be a part of this movement, and we hope that you will join us.

References

[1] CWLA. (2024). Florida 2024 . Child Welfare League of America. Retrieved from https://www.cwla.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Florida-2024.pdf

The Florida Foster Care System: A Closer Look

"The Last Teardrop" brings national attention to the foster care system, but it's essential to understand the specific situation here in Florida. The Sunshine State has a large and complex foster care system, with thousands of children at any given time in need of a safe, loving, and permanent home. While the ultimate goal of foster care is reunification with the biological family, this is not always possible. In such cases, adoption becomes the path to providing a child with a forever family.

The Need for Adoptive Families in Florida

The statistics surrounding foster care in Florida highlight the urgent need for more adoptive families. While the number of children in care can fluctuate, the reality is that many children, especially older children, sibling groups, and children with special needs, wait longer to be adopted. These children are at a higher risk of aging out of the foster care system without a permanent family, which can lead to a host of challenges in adulthood, including homelessness, unemployment, and involvement in the criminal justice system.

By choosing to adopt from foster care, you are not only providing a child with a home but also with a foundation for a brighter future. You are giving them the gift of stability, the security of a family, and the unconditional love that every child deserves.

The Role of Private Adoption Agencies

Navigating the adoption process can be complex, which is why many families choose to work with a private adoption agency like My Florida Adoptions . While it is possible to adopt directly from the state, a private agency can offer a more personalized and supportive experience. Here are some of the benefits of working with a private adoption agency:

Personalized Guidance: Private agencies typically have smaller caseloads, which allows them to provide more individualized attention to each family. At My Florida Adoptions , we take the time to get to know you and your family, so we can help you find the perfect match.
Comprehensive Support: From the initial home study to finalization and beyond, a private agency will be with you every step of the way. We offer a wide range of services, including counseling, training, and post-adoption support, to ensure that you have the resources you need to be successful.
Faster Placements: In some cases, private agencies can facilitate faster placements than the state. This is because they have a network of birth parents and adoptive families, which can help to streamline the matching process.
Financial Assistance: Many private agencies, including My Florida Adoptions , can help you explore financial assistance options, such as grants and loans, to make adoption more affordable.

Meet Tammy Holcombe: A Champion for Adoption

At the heart of My Florida Adoptions is our Executive Director, Tammy Holcombe. With over 30 years of experience in the field of adoption, Tammy is a true champion for children and families. Her passion for adoption is evident in everything she does, from her hands-on work with birth parents and adoptive families to her advocacy efforts on a larger scale.

Tammy's presence at the premiere of "The Last Teardrop" is a testament to her unwavering commitment to raising awareness about adoption. She understands that films like this can play a crucial role in inspiring more people to consider adoption and in breaking down the myths and misconceptions that still surround it.

Under Tammy's leadership, My Florida Adoptions has become a trusted resource for families throughout the state. Her approachable and non-threatening demeanor makes her a comfort to those who are just beginning their adoption journey, while her expertise and professionalism ensure that every adoption is handled with the utmost care and attention to detail.

Frequently Asked Questions about Adoption in Florida

If you are considering adoption in Florida, you probably have a lot of questions. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions we receive at My Florida Adoptions :

1. What are the requirements to adopt in Florida?

In Florida, you can be single, married, or in a long-term relationship to adopt. There are no strict age requirements, but you must be able to provide a safe and stable home for a child. You will also need to complete a home study, which is a comprehensive assessment of your family and your home environment.

2. How long does the adoption process take?

The timeline for adoption can vary depending on a number of factors, including the type of adoption you are pursuing and the specific circumstances of your case. On average, the process can take anywhere from six months to two years.

3. How much does adoption cost?

The cost of adoption can also vary widely. Adopting from foster care is often less expensive than private adoption, as many of the costs are covered by the state. At My Florida Adoptions , we are committed to making adoption as affordable as possible, and we can help you explore financial assistance options.

4. What is the difference between open and closed adoption?

In an open adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents have ongoing contact, which can range from exchanging letters and photos to in-person visits. In a closed adoption, there is no contact between the birth parents and adoptive parents. At My Florida Adoptions , we support all types of adoption and will work with you to create a plan that is in the best interests of everyone involved.

Take the Next Step

"The Last Teardrop" is a powerful reminder that every child deserves a family to call their own. If this film has inspired you to consider adoption, we encourage you to take the next step. Contact My Florida Adoptions today to learn more about our services and to begin your adoption journey. Together, we can make a difference in the life of a child.

The Emotional Journey of Adoption: A Path of Courage and Love

"The Last Teardrop" beautifully illustrates that the path to building a family through adoption is a profound emotional journey, not just for the child, but for the adoptive parents and birth parents as well. It is a journey marked by hope, anticipation, and, at times, uncertainty. At My Florida Adoptions , we walk alongside you on this path, offering guidance and support as you navigate the complex emotions that come with the adoption process.

For Adoptive Parents: A Journey of Hope and Preparation

For prospective adoptive parents, the journey often begins with a deep-seated desire to build a family. It is a journey of hope, of opening your heart and your home to a child in need. The process of becoming an adoptive parent is one of preparation, both practically and emotionally. The home study, for example, is more than just a series of interviews and paperwork; it is an opportunity for you to reflect on your own life, your values, and your dreams for your family.

As you move through the process, you may experience a rollercoaster of emotions, from excitement and anticipation to anxiety and frustration. This is all a normal part of the journey. At My Florida Adoptions , we provide a safe and supportive space for you to process these emotions. Our team of experienced professionals is here to listen, to offer guidance, and to remind you that you are not alone.

For Birth Parents: A Journey of Courage and Selflessness

For birth parents, the decision to place a child for adoption is an act of incredible courage and selflessness. It is a decision made out of love, a desire to provide their child with the best possible life. The emotional journey for birth parents is often complex, filled with a mix of grief, loss, and hope for the future.

At My Florida Adoptions , we provide compassionate and non-judgmental support to birth parents throughout their journey. We help them to explore their options, to create an adoption plan that they are comfortable with, and to navigate the emotional challenges of their decision. We also provide post-adoption support to help them heal and move forward with their lives.

Understanding the Different Types of Adoption

Adoption is not a one-size-fits-all process. There are many different types of adoption, each with its own unique set of benefits and challenges. At My Florida Adoptions , we have experience with all types of adoption and can help you determine which path is right for you.

Open Adoption

In an open adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents have ongoing contact after the adoption is finalized. This contact can take many forms, from exchanging letters and photos to in-person visits. Open adoption can be a beautiful way for a child to maintain a connection to their birth family and to have a more complete understanding of their story.

Closed Adoption

In a closed adoption, there is no contact between the birth parents and the adoptive family. All identifying information is kept confidential. While closed adoptions were once the norm, they are less common today. However, they may still be the right choice for some families.

Semi-Open Adoption

A semi-open adoption is a middle ground between an open and closed adoption. In a semi-open adoption, communication between the birth parents and adoptive family is facilitated by the adoption agency. This can be a good option for families who want to maintain some level of contact but also want to protect their privacy.

Other Types of Adoption

In addition to open, closed, and semi-open adoption, there are several other types of adoption that we can assist with at My Florida Adoptions , including:

Stepparent Adoption: This is when a stepparent legally adopts their spouse's child.
Relative Adoption: This is when a relative, such as a grandparent or an aunt or uncle, adopts a child in their family.
Adult Adoption: This is when one adult adopts another adult, often to formalize a parent-child relationship that has existed for many years.

No matter what type of adoption you are considering, our team is here to provide you with the guidance and support you need to navigate the process with confidence.

The Healing Power of Music: A Universal Language

One of the most compelling aspects of "The Last Teardrop" is its exploration of the healing power of music. For Bobby Wilson, music was not just a career; it was a lifeline. Growing up in foster care, Bobby faced many challenges, but music provided him with an outlet for his emotions, a way to connect with others, and a sense of purpose. His tribute to Jackie Wilson was more than just a performance; it was a way for him to honor his father and to celebrate the legacy of soul music.

Music has long been recognized as a powerful tool for healing and self-expression. Studies have shown that music can reduce stress, improve mood, and even help people cope with trauma. For children in foster care, who often experience significant trauma and instability, music can be a particularly valuable resource. It can provide them with a sense of normalcy, a way to express their feelings, and a connection to their culture and heritage.

At My Florida Adoptions , we recognize the importance of supporting the whole child, not just their physical needs. We encourage adoptive families to explore a variety of activities and interests with their children, including music, art, and sports. These activities can help children to develop their talents, to build their self-esteem, and to heal from past trauma.

The Impact of "The Last Teardrop": Raising Awareness and Inspiring Change

"The Last Teardrop" is more than just a documentary; it is a movement for change. The film's creators have outlined three key impact goals:

1. Awareness and Education: By screening the film in communities across the country, the filmmakers hope to increase awareness and educate the public about the challenges and complexities of the foster care and adoption systems in America. The film provides a unique opportunity for viewers to gain a deeper understanding of the experiences and perspectives of foster care youth and families.

2. Fundraising and Donations: Screenings of "The Last Teardrop" can also be used as fundraising opportunities for foster care organizations and charities. Ticket sales can generate revenue to support programs and services, and the event can be used as a platform to solicit donations.

3. Community Engagement and Support: Hosting a screening of "The Last Teardrop" can help foster care organizations and charities build stronger relationships with their communities. By inviting local stakeholders and members of the public to engage in conversations about foster care and adoption, organizations can foster greater understanding and support for their cause.

We at My Florida Adoptions are proud to support the impact goals of "The Last Teardrop." We believe that films like this can play a crucial role in changing the narrative around foster care and adoption and in inspiring more people to get involved. Whether you choose to adopt, to become a foster parent, or to support adoption organizations in other ways, you can make a difference in the life of a child.

Resources for Adoptive Families and Birth Parents

At My Florida Adoptions , we are committed to providing comprehensive support to all members of the adoption triad: adoptive parents, birth parents, and adopted children. We offer a wide range of resources to help you navigate the adoption process and to support you after the adoption is finalized.

Resources for Adoptive Parents

Home Study Services: We provide comprehensive home study services to help you prepare for adoption. Our home studies are thorough, professional, and designed to meet the requirements of the state of Florida.
Adoption Training: We offer a variety of training programs to help you develop the skills and knowledge you need to be a successful adoptive parent. Topics include trauma-informed parenting, attachment, and cultural sensitivity.
Post-Adoption Support: Our support doesn't end when the adoption is finalized. We offer ongoing post-adoption support to help you navigate the challenges and joys of raising an adopted child. This includes counseling, support groups, and access to a network of other adoptive families.
Financial Assistance: We can help you explore financial assistance options, such as grants, loans, and tax credits, to make adoption more affordable.

Resources for Birth Parents

Counseling: We provide compassionate and non-judgmental counseling to help you explore your options and to make the best decision for yourself and your child.
Financial Assistance: We can help you with pregnancy-related expenses, such as medical care, housing, and transportation.
Legal Representation: We can connect you with an attorney who can represent your interests throughout the adoption process.
Post-Adoption Support: We offer ongoing post-adoption support to help you heal and move forward with your life. This includes counseling, support groups, and access to resources for birth parents.

You can learn more about our services by visiting our website at www.myfladoptions.com or by calling us at (727) 233-3457.

How to Watch "The Last Teardrop"

"The Last Teardrop" is currently available for streaming on several platforms, making it easy for you to watch this powerful and inspiring film. You can find it on:

Amazon Prime Video: Stream "The Last Teardrop" on Amazon Prime
Hulu: Watch "The Last Teardrop" on Hulu
Tubi: Watch "The Last Teardrop" for free on Tubi
Apple TV: Stream "The Last Teardrop" on Apple TV

We highly recommend watching the official trailer first to get a sense of the film's powerful message. You can watch the trailer on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAn9BbbjFC0 .

Join the Movement: How You Can Make a Difference

After watching "The Last Teardrop," you may be inspired to get involved in the foster care and adoption community. There are many ways you can make a difference, whether you are ready to adopt or simply want to support the cause.

Consider Adoption

If you have been thinking about adoption, now is the time to take the next step. Contact My Florida Adoptions today to learn more about our services and to begin your adoption journey. Our team is here to answer your questions, to provide you with the information you need, and to support you every step of the way.

Become a Foster Parent

If you are not ready to adopt but still want to make a difference, consider becoming a foster parent. Foster parents provide temporary care for children who are waiting to be reunited with their families or to be adopted. Fostering is a challenging but incredibly rewarding experience. You can learn more about becoming a foster parent in Florida by visiting AdoptUSKids .

Support Adoption Organizations

You can also support adoption organizations like My Florida Adoptions by making a donation, volunteering your time, or spreading the word about our work. Every little bit helps, and your support can make a real difference in the lives of children and families.

Advocate for Change

Finally, you can advocate for change by contacting your elected officials and urging them to support policies that benefit children in foster care. This includes policies that increase funding for foster care and adoption services, that improve the quality of care for children in the system, and that support families who are struggling.

Conclusion: A Story of Hope and Resilience

"The Last Teardrop" is a powerful and moving film that sheds light on the foster care and adoption systems in America. It is a story of hope, resilience, and the transformative power of family. Bobby Wilson's journey is a reminder that no matter what challenges we face in life, we have the strength to overcome them and to find our place in the world.

We at My Florida Adoptions are honored to be a part of this important conversation. We are committed to supporting families throughout the adoption process and to providing children with the loving and permanent homes they deserve. If you are considering adoption, we encourage you to reach out to us today. Together, we can make a difference in the life of a child.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post. We hope that "The Last Teardrop" inspires you to learn more about adoption and to consider how you can get involved in this important cause. For more information about adoption services in Florida, please visit our About Us page or explore our blog for more adoption stories and resources.

Contact My Florida Adoptions:

Phone: (727) 233-3457 (Clearwater), (813) 567-0277 (Tampa), (407) 379-7856 (Orlando)
Email: info@myfladoptions.com
Website: www.myfladoptions.com
Address: 24705 US Highway 19 North, Suite 306, Clearwater, FL 33763

We are available 24/7 to answer your questions and to provide you with the support you need. Let us help you build your family through adoption.

My Open Adoption Story

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 22:11:13 GMT

My Open Adoption Story- by Amanda

Embracing open adoption was a very hard concept for me, at first. As a birth mother, I want to share my experience with open adoption and hopefully encourage future expectant/birth mothers to consider this route.

My name is Amanda and my daughter, Jacquelyn Nicole, was born in January, 2017. This was an unexpected pregnancy, and most definitely came at a challenging time in my life, as I was battling addiction and struggling to find stability. Through all of those challenges, my love for my baby girl led me to make the selfless decision of choosing adoption. Today, I want to share how my decision to choose an open adoption has brought immense joy and fulfillment to all parties involved in my adoption story.

During my adoption journey, I felt a divine presence guiding me every step of the way. From the moment I considered adoption to the final decision of choosing Jacquelyn's amazing adoptive parents, Bryan and Jayne, I knew I was making the right choice. It was a difficult decision, but I trusted my instincts and put my baby's future first. We all have a beautiful connection. The relationship between Bryan, Jayne, Jacquelyn, and myself is nothing short of wonderful. I never expected it to be as special as it is today. While I still have moments of self-doubt and wish I could have been stronger for my daughter, the love I have for her compelled me to make this difficult choice. As a mother, it was incredibly challenging to set aside my emotions and prioritize my baby's future; however, when you take the time to do your research on adoption and choose the right adoptive parents, you can rest assured that your child will have the best life possible.

Maintaining a loving and healthy relationship is crucial in open adoption, and that is exactly what we have achieved. Despite the physical distance, Jacquelyn and I have a deep connection that will always remain. We regularly video chat and text, and Jayne keeps me updated with pictures of Jacquelyn's milestones. I recently had the opportunity to visit them and witness my daughter's kindergarten graduation, which was an incredibly special moment for all of us.

As Jacquelyn gets older, her curiosity about her unique situation and our connection will continue to grow. Her parents, Bryan and Jayne, are open and honest with Jacquelyn about her life story, ensuring she understands her background to the extent appropriate for her age. I have no doubt that our relationship will continue to strengthen as she matures.

The amazing choice I made, during one of the darkest periods of my life, turned out to be one of the smartest choices I have ever made. To be completely honest, making this choice actually saved me from the destructive cycle of addiction and abuse that I was living in for 16 years. Jacquelyn Nicole and her Parents give me the strength to continue fighting for my sobriety; and the ability to have such a close and open relationship with Jacquelyn is the best gift that has come from my open adoption.

Thank you for reading a shortened version of my experience with open adoption. I hope whoever I might have helped or encouraged by reading this, the best of luck. Just remember why you are considering it in the first place. You will be okay!

Oh, and one more thing, do not listen to any of the negative things some close-minded people might say regarding your choice. They just do not understand because they have never been in our shoes. Please do not let that discourage you. Adoption is one of the most selfless acts any mother or father could ever make for a child.

Ways to Include Your Child's Birth Family During the Holidays

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 12:16:39 GMT

Ways to Include Your Child's Birth Family During the Holidays

Ways to Include Your Child’s Birth Family During the Holidays

The holidays are a wonderful time that family and friends gather to celebrate. It is a time filled with activities, school programs, parties and get togethers. Although this can be a busy time for many, it is important to also remember your child’s birth family. We have a few tips on how to include and honor your child's birth family during this holiday season.

1. Send a Holiday Card: It is common to send and receive holiday cards from family and friends. Be sure to include your child’s birth family when sending your family card or photo.

2. Send a Gift: There are many gift ideas (see our blog post titled, “Gift Ideas for Birth Parents”) but don’t forget a simple, yet meaningful homemade gift. A small gift of your child’s handprint or footprint would be thoughtful, and shows your child’s current growth and stage!

3. Schedule a Visit: Depending on your relationship, this can include a phone or FaceTime call, facilitated through your agency/attorney or yourself, if you have direct communication. If you have an open adoption, this would be a wonderful time to schedule a face to face visit!

4. Incorporate a New Family Tradition: Ask your child’s birth family what holiday tradition they do, and plan to do the same tradition with your child. Take photos and send those to your birth family. This is a fun and thoughtful way to remember and include your birth family.

5. Honor Them: You may not have communication with your child’s birth family, per their request. If this is the case, you can still honor them during the holidays. Talk with your child about how grateful you are for their birth family’s adoption choice. Include an ornament celebrating your child’s adoption day and discuss the birth family’s loving choice, making that day possible.

It is important to include your child’s birth family during the holidays. Hopefully, these few ideas helped to spark the conversation about ways that you can include and honor them this holiday season!

"What is National Adoption Month?"

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 14:03:01 GMT

"What is National Adoption Month?"

Although we celebrate National Adoption Month in November every year, it is important to understand the history of this time set aside to celebrate adoption. In 1976, the governor of Massachusetts at that time was Mike Dukakis. He designated “Adoption Week” as a time set aside to spread awareness of the need for adoptive families for children awaiting adoption, in foster care. Although this was initially set as a time for the state of Massachusetts to raise awareness, Governor Dukakis’ idea soon grew in popularity nationwide. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed the first ever "National Adoption Week." This was then expanded to "National Adoption Month", by President Bill Clinton, on November 1, 1995.

On this date, when establishing Proclamation 6846, President Clinton stated, “For many people across the United States, adoption provides a means for building and strengthening families. It places children into loving homes where they can flourish and grow up to become happy, healthy, productive members of our national community. Adoption also enables adults to experience the unique joys of parenthood.” Later, he states, “As we observe National Adoption Month, we celebrate these achievements and recognize the rewards of adoption, but we must also remember that much work remains to be done. Citizens from all communities and organizations from the public and private sectors must join together to renew our commitment to finding permanent homes for each one of America’s children.”

In 2003, President Bush renewed this law for further commitment and support of adoption. President Bush signed the Adoption Promotion Act of 2003, encouraging our nation to provide a future for the thousands of children in need of a home. When signing this Act, President Bush stated, “The adoption of a boy or girl is a moment of joy for a family, and it’s an act of great generosity. When parents share their homes and all they have with a child, the child they adopt and love as their own, all their lives are transformed forever.” He later stated, “In every young life, there is a great need to belong. For the sake of our children, this nation has a responsibility to encourage adoption of children at all ages- from infants to adolescents.”

The month of November is set aside as National Adoption Month to shine a light on adoption and to celebrate birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptees. It is a time to educate our community on ways that they can contribute, support and be involved in adoption. It is also a time set aside to remember the professionals who work to make this process possible. As we celebrate National Adoption Month, let’s not forget the history of it and the continued need for our nation’s involvement.

Being the Village for Adoptive Parents

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 19:27:44 GMT

Being the Village for Adoptive Parents

This blog post is a little different, as it is geared towards those who have a prospective adoptive parent, couple or family in their immediate circle. For those individuals, have you ever thought, “How can I support this person, couple or family as they are going through the adoption process?” This post is for you! We want to share some specific ways that you can support those special people as they journey through bringing a child into their home!

1. Educate yourself, as best you can, on the adoption process. The most important thing you can educate yourself on is positive adoption language! You are going to be a big part of this child’s life. It is important to know what negative and positive adoption language is so that you can speak appropriately around the child and family!

2. Be there to listen and encourage them. Ask what you can do or how you can help. When they answer those questions, be ready to act! If they are ready to voice what they need, rally around them and do your best to provide them with the specific ask.

3. The financial aspect of adoption can be overwhelming to some. They may have the strong desire to adopt; however, cannot picture how they will make it work financially. If this is the case with someone in your life, you can encourage, support and bring some ideas to the table to assist them. Are you able to donate to their adoption, great! If not, that’s ok too. Could you host a fundraiser or assist them in setting a fundraiser up? Help them in getting family, friends and the community involved. It is always amazing to see how many people in the community love to rally around such a wonderful cause as adoption, even for people they do not know!

4. Oftentimes, travel can also be a part of the process for many prospective adoptive parents. Do you have airline miles or hotel points that may help them in traveling for the birth or once it is time for them to take placement? Do you know someone in the state they are traveling to, who might offer their spare room, extra car, etc. for their time there?

5. Once they return home, coordinate a meal train. This is oftentimes something that adoptive parents feel bad asking for, but it is a huge help, as it allows them to focus on the child they just brought home!

6. It is also a great idea to set up a shower or welcome home party for them. We always caution not to do a shower prior to Placement, but after Placement would be a wonderful time to show support and celebrate this addition to their family!

These are just a few important ways that you can support a friend or loved one who is going through the adoption process. We oftentimes hear, it takes a village to raise a child, and it is the same for adoption. Hopefully, this post helps you in understanding how you can support and be the village for someone!

My Florida Adoptions, LLC has offices in Clearwater, Tampa, Port Richey, Orlando and services the entire state of Florida.

Selecting and Meeting the Adoptive Parents

tammy@myfladoptions.com (Tammy Holcombe) — Mon, 07 Mar 2022 18:52:10 GMT

Selecting and Meeting the Adoptive Parents

Selecting a Family

As an expectant parent, you can select the family you would like to adopt your baby. What qualities are important to you? What criteria must they meet in order for you to select them? What is important to you is an individual choice. One expectant mother may want a single parent or a same sex couple. One expectant mother may want a traditional couple. One may want a family with no children. One may want their child to have lots of siblings. An expectant mother may want a family that shares the same faith as she does.

The first step is for My Florida Adoptions to find out what is important to the expectant parent(s). What are they looking for in adoptive parents? We want to know what the expectant parent(s) are comfortable with. We want to know what kind of contact they are looking to have with the adoptive family.

We want to know what level of openness the expectant parent(s) want to have with the adoptive parents.

Levels of openness include the following:

Closed - There is no contact between the expectant/birth parent(s) and the adoptive parents. They do not meet and the birth mother does not receive photos and updated information about the child. The expectant parent may decide not to select a family and ask that the adoption agency select the adoptive family.
Semi-Open- The expectant parent(s) may meet the adoptive parents during the pregnancy and at the hospital. The birth parents may receive photos and updated information up to the child’s age of 18. They may exchange an email address with the adoptive parents. There is no identifying information shared between the birth parents and the adoptive parents.
Open- The birth parents and the adoptive parents may have direct contact once their relationship has grown organically. They may visit each other after placement, email one another or talk on the phone without adoption agency involvement. They may be friends on social media and know each other's identifying information.

Once we know the comfort level of the expectant/birth parent(s); we then identify adoptive parents who share the same comfort level.There is never a shortage of adoptive parents. An expectant/ birth mother will have plenty to select from and will be able to identify the family that she believes is best for her child.

The next step is to give the expectant/birth parent(s) profile books of each family. The expectant/birth parent(s) will have an opportunity to go through the books and read them and share them with close friends or family (if they would like). The profile book paints a picture of the adoptive family's life and who they are. Once the expectant/birth parent has selected a family, the next step is meeting the family (if this is not a closed adoption).

Meeting the Family

Let’s look at some questions you may have about this first meeting between the expectant parent(s) and the adoptive parents:

Where will we meet?

We will set up a lunch date at one of the expectant parent’s favorite restaurants. If the expectant parent is not comfortable meeting in a restaurant, we can meet at the adoption agency, a park or another community facility. Present at the meeting would be the adoptive parents, the expectant parent(s), and the adoption coordinator from our adoption agency. The adoption coordinator is there to help facilitate the meeting. If the expectant mother feels more comfortable bringing a friend or family member for support, she can do that.

What will we talk about?

This is a time when both parties can talk about their likes and dislikes, their family values, and family dynamics. This is a great time to get to know one another. The expectant mother can also discuss her hospital plan, and the role she would like the adoptive parents to play at the hospital. The adoptive parents and the expectant parent(s) can talk about their adoption journey and what led them to this moment. Perhaps the expectant mother can talk about why she selected the family and what that process was like for her. Everyone can talk about what the future may look like for their relationship.

What if I am nervous? Will they like me?

Everyone is nervous! The conversation usually seems to flow. If there is a moment of hesitation or awkwardness, the adoption coordinator will jump in and bring the conversation back around. No worries! In all of our many years of working in this profession, it is a rarity that the adoptive parents or the expectant parent(s) do not like one another. The adoptive parents are grateful to the expectant mother and respect her bravery. The expectant mother is happy to meet and get to know the family that she is entrusting her child with. She is thankful for the family who is helping her when she finds herself with an unplanned pregnancy.

Should I take a picture with them?

If you are comfortable taking a picture, it will give the adoptive parents a photo that can be shared and become a special memento for the adoptee. This is the day we met your first mommy or your birth mom or your tummy mommy. What a gift this is for your child.

It is also fun for the expectant mother to bring ultrasound pictures to the meeting for the adoptive parents to see. Likewise, it is fun for the adoptive parents to bring pictures of the nursery for the expectant parents to see.

This meeting is a unique and emotional experience. Your adoption coordinator will guide you through this special event. Most birth mothers say “ I feel so much better, I am so glad I met them.” You can read about someone and see their pictures, but meeting helps bring some security or confirmation that you selected the family that is best for your child.

Conclusion

Do not be overwhelmed or afraid of this process. Let it empower you as you are able to select a family that you feel is best for your child. Are you doing this because you don’t love your child? NO, you are doing this because you love your child so much you want what is best for him or her. You carefully select a family and then have the opportunity to meet them. You can express to them the love you have for your child and your hopes and dreams that you have for them.

Reach out with any questions you may have. You may still be deciding if adoption is an option for you and you just want to get educated. A good decision is an educated decision. Call or Text anytime!

RACHAEL: A Birth Mother's Adoption Story

Tue, 09 Nov 2021 18:56:53 GMT

Rachael: A Birth Mother's Adoption Story

I always say she is the “mistake” that turned into a miracle. I think it sounds harsh but it’s the truth. From day one I was in a panic. This wasn’t the right time. I had two little girls already depending on me and I was struggling. I couldn’t bear to think this little person was a mistake but for so many reasons I knew I couldn’t give her the life she deserves.

Abortion? I’ve always been against it. Place her with family? That’s just too close to home for me.

I couldn’t bear to think of a closed adoption and never seeing her again. The moment I thought of the gift this little baby could bring to a waiting couple, my world and my mind changed forever. Learning about open adoption and all of the things it had to offer, such as becoming a very close family/friend, this somewhat set my mind at ease. I could do this. I can watch her grow up and know that she knows where she came from. I can give her life and even better give her a life she deserves.

Contacting My Florida Adoptions was the first step. What an amazing and comforting group of people. I’m forever grateful for always feeling like I had family at my side through it all. Finding a match was the hardest part. I read about so many families who were praying for a child. I had one wish, I wanted a couple who did not yet have a child. I read so many profiles and so many caught my heart. One letter stuck out the most: a woman who wanted nothing more than to be a mommy and about the heart breaking failed pregnancies she had experienced. What stuck out the most was the relationship she was willing to have with me. Everything I dreamed of in an open adoption, she spoke of. She mentioned we could be social media friends and have visits when we wish. It would be a close relationship but distant at the same time. She talked about all the things she would tell my daughter as she grows up. I prayed that we could really have this relationship and I just knew in my heart they were the ones.

I was determined to speak to the adoptive parents as soon as possible. The adoption agency arranged a call with the adoptive mother that afternoon. I wanted to tell them everything about my pregnancy so far and all my appointments coming up. I felt so relieved to finally share this pregnancy and feel joy doing it. The feeling of knowing this little baby was so wanted and loved already gave me peace. I didn’t want them to miss out on anything. It was not always easy and the heartache never goes away. Watching her grow up every day through social media and visits throughout the years make it so much easier.

The support I have gotten for years from Tammy and everyone at My Florida Adoption is just incredible. When my daughter was six months old, not only did her adoptive parents come to my wedding but so did Tammy. Tammy was my adoption support person through the entire process and she felt like a mom to me. She let me know it was ok to feel sad and hurt. She was there for me every step of the way and far beyond. I gained one heck of an extended family with not only the adoptive family but the agency as well.

Over 4 years ago we started on this journey. From the second I knew I was pregnant with all of the panic and fears until the moment I went into an open adoption was a world of difference. I can’t thank My Florida Adoptions enough for guiding me every step of the way. They were like family and I always felt cared for and loved.

My daughter's adoptive parents are beyond a miracle. They have a big family with huge hearts who accepted me and my family into theirs. We truly became one huge extended family. To give such a gift and go through such a journey changed me forever. It made me a person I never thought I could be. I feel blessed every single day and I take nothing for granted. It’s a true miracle beyond belief the life open adoption has given to us all.

Rachael

____________________________________________________________________

Our adoption agency enjoyed working with Rachael so much. It was a pleasure watching this relationship between Rachael and the adoptive family grow organically. Rachael is a fine example of birth mother bravery and maturity. She put the needs of her daughter ahead of her own. We watched her go from panic and fear to peace and acceptance. Like she said the heart ache doesn't go away and it is hard, but in her heart she knew it was right. Right or good decisions can be painful and hard. This is where real growth and maturity takes place in one’s life. When you are willing to feel some pain for something you know is right. We watched this first hand with Rachael.

If you are that woman who has found herself in a crisis pregnancy and you are considering your options. Feel free to call us. Rachael did consider her options and she knew in her heart what was best for her.

Rachael also knew she needed an open adoption and was able to find a like minded family. Not every birth mother wants an open adoption. Some just want a semi-open adoption, where they receive pictures and updates, but no visits after the baby is placed with the family. It is a personal preference. Some may start out as a semi-open adoption and the birth mother and adoptive family meet and they just organically grow together and it turns into an open adoption.

Adoption is individual and it is your own story. Rachael was kind enough to share her story with us. Her daughter will have her own story and the adoptive parents have their own story. Our stories matter. Telling our story is very healing. Share your story with someone today.

Tammy

Birth Mothers: Adoption and the Grieving Process

tammy@myfladoptions.com (Tammy Holcombe) — Thu, 28 Oct 2021 19:49:58 GMT

Birth Mothers: Adoption and the Grieving Process

Adoption is a beautiful thing. We have an adoptive family that is overjoyed as their dreams have finally come true and they are able to be parents for the first time. Then there is a brave birth mother who has put the needs of her baby before anything else and because of her love for this child, she makes a mature and selfless decision to place her baby for adoption.

While choosing to place your baby for adoption is a brave decision, there is a grieving process that accompanies it. Some birth mothers expect it and know this will be hard and emotional and others may not acknowledge the grief.

In 1969, a Swiss Psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, introduced five stages of grief that people will go through when they experience a loss or change of some kind.

During our lifetime, we are going to experience grief many times. It may be the loss of a loved one who dies from cancer. It could be a divorce or broken relationship. It could be a job change or a move. It may be a miscarriage or a still born. The list is endless. Grief is what we go through when we experience a loss or change. Birth mothers who place their baby for adoption also will experience grief.

Let's look at the five stages of grief that Dr. Kubler- Ross introduced:

Denial -

Denial is the initial stage of grief that helps us cope with loss or change. It is a time of avoidance. We avoid the reality of the situation as it may be too overwhelming. It is actually helpful to experience denial as it gives you time to pace our grief. We could not handle the impact of loss all at once; therefore, denial allows us time to avoid it and deny the reality of it until we are ready to process it.

The important thing is to be sure you do not get stuck in denial. The best way to process grief is to feel it and express it and tell your story. If you stay in denial and deny or avoid the feelings, you will not be able to process it. The pain will be stuffed inside and at some point it will come forward at a later time of life.

Anger-

Anger is a common emotion to have once you are out of denial and into reality. This is when one may say “It is not fair” or “Why me”. It is when one needs to blame someone else for their grief. It is important to feel the anger and express it or say it out loud. Eventually the anger will dissipate.

For a birth mother, she may be angry at the birth father who left her in this position. She may be angry at her mother who insisted she place for adoption or who withdrew her support from her. She may be angry at the adoption agency that made it sound like rainbows and unicorns and didn’t forewarn her of this grieving process. She may be angry at the adoptive family who are holding and cuddling the baby that she should be holding and cuddling. She may be angry at herself for not being in a better place financially or emotionally.

Depression-

Depression and sadness is the most commonly accepted stage of grief. It is the emptiness we feel when we are living in reality and realize the person or situation we had is gone or over. It is a time where you may want to isolate and withdraw or stay in bed. This could be accompanied with hopelessness and/or suicidal thoughts.

It is important not to get stuck in this stage. Accept therapy and support, even when you do not want to. I had a birth mother say to me once, I don’t want to talk to a therapist and move on, I want my baby back. She was feeling so hopeless. Within three days, she was doing so much better. It was still hard and painful, but she was not completely hopeless. She described it as I am now rational again. She was feeling normal grief.

The hard thing for a birth mother is there is a normal grieving process after placing your baby for adoption and then there are hormonal changes going on in your body at the same time. It is like a double whammy. When a birth mother is feeling depression it causes her to question if she did the right thing and if she did, why does it hurt so bad.

Bargaining-

Bargaining is a stage where we are looking for a chance to stop the grief. You make yourself believe you can avoid the grief with a type of negotiation. Bargaining is many times accompanied by guilt. It is the attempt to get things back to the way it was prior to the loss or change.

A birth mother may bargain with God and say, “God, if you will let me get my baby back, I will live right from here on out.” Or negotiating with the adoptive family. An example may be, I can’t do this unless I know I can visit her twice or three times a year.

Acceptance-

In this stage, one comes to terms with their new reality. The emotions begin to stabilize. You have good days and bad days. But you are moving and growing into your new reality and you have a sense that you will be okay.

It is important to let people support you during your time of grief. Counseling and Birth Parent Support Groups are available to birth mothers. Grief is a process and everyone processes it differently. It is important to express your feelings and tell your story to help you process your grief. It is so interesting that when an employer gives you bereavement time off, it is usually three days paid time off.

I think that the most intense time is the first three days. You are bouncing from stage to stage and feeling all kinds of emotions. It does not end there; however, you may start to get some breaks from the grief.. Then there will be something that triggers your grief like a movie or a smell and you will experience some of the emotions. But then you will get a break again until the next trigger.

Grief is a process and a journey. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We are all individuals and will grieve at our own pace and in our own way. Don’t judge yourself or let anyone judge you during this time. Be kind to yourself. Find a safe place to tell your story.

Here at My Florida Adoptions, counseling is made available to you at any time during your adoption plan and your grieving process.

Remember we have offices in Tampa, Port Richey, Orlando and Clearwater. It would be our pleasure to support you throughout your adoption plan.

Adoption Fundraiser Ideas

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 18:01:10 GMT

Adoption Fundraiser Ideas

For many families interested in adopting, fundraising is one of the first steps they will take to begin their adoption journey. There are many funding options available to assist prospective adoptive families with the fees associated with adoption. Here are just a few fundraising ideas that we have seen many of our families utilize:

1. Adoption Grants: There are many adoption grant organizations available to assist families with the financial aspect of adoption. We always suggest that families apply for as many grants as possible. Although you are not able to apply until your Home Study is complete and approved, we suggest you do your research and start completing the applications at the same time as completing the Home Study, so that once your home study is complete, you can send those applications out!

2. Selling Adoption T-Shirts: This is a wonderful way to raise funds for your adoption, while sharing positivity surrounding adoption! There are several companies that will assist you in designing and making the shirts. This is a fun way to allow family and friends to support your adoption and share your cause.

3. Spaghetti Dinner or Pancake Breakfast: This is a unique way to raise money for your adoption, while getting friends and family together for a fun night OR morning out. If you are a part of a church, request to utilize the church hall and/or kitchen for the event, which will cut costs as well.

4. D inner at a Local Restaurant: Do you have a favorite restaurant down the street you go to often? Ask if they would be willing to offer a benefit night, where a percentage of their sales will be donated to your adoption. Even a local fast food restaurant, such as Chick Fil A, may be willing to do the same. Share on social media, have your family and friends join, and you will be surprised how many people will show up to support you!

5. Online Funding Account: This is a great way to share your adoption story and ask for others to be involved in bringing a child into your home, by donating online. There are many avenues to do this and this is becoming a popular way for families to fundraise!

These are only a few ideas to assist in fundraising for your adoption, but they are tried and true for many families. Do you have a fundraising idea that you or someone you know has utilized when raising adoption funds? If so, please share with us, as we would love to know!

My Florida Adoptions has offices located in Clearwater, Tampa, Orlando and Port Richey; and we service all of Florida!

Surviving the Adoption Wait

Wed, 10 Feb 2021 15:07:15 GMT

Surviving the Adoption Wait

You have selected your agency, attorney or consultant of choice. You survived the Home Study process. You spent hours creating your Profile Book. You are officially “APPROVED to adopt”, so what now? The past few months have been leading up to this moment and you were feverishly filling out forms, scheduling interviews, doctor’s appointments, and pulling all of your creativity into an 8x11 book, and now you are told to simply, “wait.” Excuse me? You have been in fact “waiting” to add a child to your family for what seems like forever already and “now” is when the waiting starts? The true and dreadful answer to that question is “Yes.” However, this time of waiting does not have to be filled with anxiety or checking each day off of that calendar in your kitchen. Here are my “Social Worker Approved” tips for surviving the wait!

1. Realistically prepare for your new addition. DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT buy clothes, diapers, bottles, specific toys, etc. as that can make the wait seem even more excruciating. Instead, start clearing out that extra bedroom, pick out a gender-neutral wall color (unless you are adopting a child of a specific gender) and paint the walls, pick out a crib or bed. Start looking on Pinterest for different decorating ideas for when the time comes. These are simple ways to prepare, while not adding to your anxiety of waiting. A fallacy of adopting a child is that the baby or child’s room has to be completely done. I always suggest to families to wait and decorate the room once the baby or child is in your home. You will be able to make the room specific to your baby or child, which makes the process much more fun!

2. Work on household projects. Take this time to update that bathroom you felt you never had time for before. Start that garden in your backyard, knock down that wall, or clean out that garage. This is the perfect time to keep busy, while feeling accomplished with projects here and there.

3. Start an adoption journal. Write about this amazing process you have begun. Share your feelings about your hopes, desires, and dreams for your future child. Share your fears about the unexpected and the struggle of waiting. This can be very therapeutic and great to read through again years later, even with your child one day.

4. Start a blog or vlog…if you are into that sort of thing. This can be a great outlet and way for your family and friends to support you throughout your adoption journey.

5. Continue your adoption education. Read books, blogs, etc. about discussing adoption with your child, adoption resources for families, books for children on adoption, and so on. No one will ever know everything there is to know about adoption, so continue your education as you prepare!

6. “Date” your spouse (if applicable). No matter how long you have been waiting and preparing to add a child to your family, your lives are about to change…even if you have children already! Use this time to strengthen your relationship as a couple. Go on dates, a weekend getaway or that cruise you have always wanted to go on. Have no money left after your adoption savings…have a date night in and binge watch some Netflix. If you are adopting as a single parent, then use this time to take that one trip, visit with out of state friends or family, etc. Take time for what is important as you wait!

The wait is just another part of your journey to adopt a child. You will look back on this wait one day and think it was completely worth it…trust me, you will!

Do you have any tips for families “surviving the wait?” If so, we would love to hear them!

We Are Growing

tammy@myfladoptions.com (Tammy Holcombe) — Fri, 14 Aug 2020 18:09:39 GMT

We are excited to share that My Florida Adoptions has opened two new offices-Tampa and Orlando-to better serve our clients!

We are excited to share that My Florida Adoptions has opened two new offices-Tampa and Orlando-to better serve our clients! Our main office is in Clearwater.

Let us know how we can serve you in these areas and all other parts of Florida as well. We are happy to travel to you, no matter where you are.

If you are an expectant mother wanting to make an adoption plan or wanting to discuss your options, we are happy to meet with you at any time.

If you a pre-adoptive family who needs a home study to start your adoption journey or if you would like to discuss the adoption process, feel free to reach out to us.

We are here to serve you.

Sincerely,

Tammy, Leah, Susan and Tina

What Is It Like to Meet the Adoptive Parents

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 15:20:04 GMT

As you go through an adoption plan as a birth mother, it is only natural to be curious about the adoptive family.

As you go through an adoption plan as a birth mother, it is only natural to be curious about the adoptive family. Although you will already know a great deal about them from their profile, you might want to meet them face to face. As we near this time in an adoption plan we always seem to get the same questions. Here are some of our most frequent ones.

Will I have a choice of whether or not I meet the Adoptive Parents?

Yes. You will always be given a choice, and you can change your mind at any time. You can meet prior to delivery, at the hospital, or after the signing of consents. Most birth mothers will say yes they would like to meet before delivery. The choice is always yours to make.

Where will we meet?

I like to set up a lunch date at a restaurant of your choosing. The meeting usually includes the adoptive parents, birth parents, and birth mother coordinator. If you feel more comfortable bringing a friend or family member along, that is fine too. The birth mother coordinator is there to help facilitate the meeting.

What will we talk about?

This is a time when both parties can talk about where they grew up, their likes and dislikes, their family values, and family dynamics. We can also discuss your hospital plan, and the role of the adoptive parents at the hospital.

What if I am nervous? Will they like me?

Everyone is nervous! The conversation always seems to flow without awkwardness or hesitation. The adoptive parents will love you and respect you for your bravery. You are helping them create their family.

Should I take a picture with them?

If you are comfortable taking a picture, it will give the Adoptive Parents a photo that can be shared and become a special memento for the adoptee.

This meeting is a unique and emotional experience. Your adoption coordinator will guide you through this special event. Most birth mothers say “ I feel so much better, I am so glad I met them.” This meeting may spark further communication if that is what you would like. This is your adoption plan and these are your choices.

BRIDGET: MY DEAREST BIRTH MOM

Thu, 30 Jul 2020 16:41:23 GMT

There is always that one person in your career who reveals qualities rarely seen and who leaves a permanent mark in your heart and mind.

Each person you meet throughout the course of an adoption plan deposits a little memory or emotion that stays with you forever. It is a privilege to be involved in such an amazing process. The bravery, selflessness, and love reflected by each party is incredible to witness.

However, there is always that one person in your career who reveals qualities rarely seen and who leaves a permanent mark in your heart and mind. Bridget was that person.

Bridget has faced tragedy and suffering unlike many of us can imagine and experienced painful situations that were thrust upon her at no fault of her own. To see someone overcome all the obstacles she has faced is extraordinary. She is determined to better herself and did not let anything stand in her way.

I am so proud of the beautiful person she is today. She inspires me with her courage, tenacity, strength, and resolve to take on each new day, despite what is going on in her life. She hasn’t done it by herself mind you. She met a wonderful partner who had many of the same struggles. They understand each other’s weaknesses, strengths, are totally committed to each other and support one another without judgment.

I look forward to the day when the children Bridget lovingly placed for adoption decides to meet their birth mother. I hope I get the chance to share with them how much she loves them and about the incredible sacrifice she made to give them the life she wanted them to have.

When we say birth moms are strong, it’s not just another cliché. I have had the privilege to witness this over and over in many clients and especially in Bridget, my dearest birth mom.

Appreciation For Our Local Court

Tue, 07 Jul 2020 20:17:31 GMT

Appreciation For Our Local Court

Our agency has the pleasure of being in beautiful Clearwater, Florida. Our beach known for its sugar sand has won top awards like Best City Beach and one of America’s Top Family Beaches.

We have the pleasure of working with the Pinellas County Clerk’s Office on a regular basis and feel blessed to have such a kind and caring government office working alongside us.

They are knowledgeable, professional, and go out of their way to make sure every part of the legal process is handled promptly and efficiently. From the Program Attorney to the Clerks, who answer the phone every day, we are always met with a courteous and helpful staff member.

The legal process of completing an adoption plan can be quite extensive. From initiating the case to finalizing the adoption, it can be an intricate process.

The Court goes out of their way to celebrate adoption finalizations. Many times, they will present the family with a teddy bear that has a necklace bearing the child’s name. Also, the Judges are happy to provide an opportunity for a family photo in the courtroom. This is a unique way to commemorate such a special occasion.

Throughout a single adoption there are many hands involved and each one is just as important as the other. We are thankful for the staff at the Pinellas County Clerk’s Office who recognize the importance of our work and are an important partner for us to create forever families!

Covid-19 & Your Adoption Plan

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Wed, 13 May 2020 18:59:05 GMT

COVID-19 & Your Adoption Plan

We are practicing social distancing and adhering to state-wide and county orders. There are some ways that this new normal is impacting adoption plans.

Adoption entities are depending on virtual means to facilitate meetings and introductions between expectant parents and prospective adoptive parents. This is opposite of our typical go out to our favorite restaurant and share a meal, but it works. They are still able to share their hopes and dreams for this child; share what values they have in common; shed a tear, share a laugh, express their gratitude and express their fears. They are not able to sit at a table together or hug goodbye, but still they can share that valuable time together. Thankfully, we have Zoom, Skype, FaceTime to help facilitate contact during this time.

Our adoption coordinators are able to provide case management and counseling by phone or virtual means as well. We have a practice of trying to see your expectant mothers weekly. This has not always been possible during this time, but we have kept in close contact making sure that all of their needs are met and they are safe. Our adoption coordinator has driven by the expectant parent’s home to bring adoptive parent profile books when they are ready to make a selection. She has practiced social distancing during the exchange. The exciting part is the phone call the agency receives a day or two later when the expectant parent has made her selection. Even more exciting is the phone call the agency makes to the prospective adoptive parent telling them they have been selected. COVID-19 has not robbed us of the joys of adoption.

Some OBGYN offices are not allowing anyone to accompany the expectant mother to her appointment. This can be hard for an expectant mother if she wants a support person or wanting the prospective adoptive couple to come with her. Our adoption coordinator has driven the expectant mother to the doctor’s office and waited in the car for her. Although she has not been able to sit in the waiting room with her, she has been able to support her following the visit.

Most hospitals are only allowing one support person in the hospital with the birth mother. That person is the only one who can visit during the complete hospital stay. If that person leaves the hospital, they may not be allowed back inside. The adoption agency is not allowed to enter the hospital to complete paperwork in some of the hospitals. However, in other hospitals they can. Prospective adoptive parents have not been allowed to visit the birth mother and the baby until the birth mother has been discharged from the hospital. This is another time we have relied on virtual and telephonic communications.

The hospital time is an emotional time for everyone. The birth mother may not be able to have her hospital stay go as planned. She may have wanted the adoptive parents there to care for the baby and now they are not allowed into the nursery. It may leave her feeling sad that the baby is alone or she may feel compelled to care for the baby

when that was not her original plan. Caring for the baby and bonding with the baby may lead to more emotions that the birth mother was not expecting. This may be a time the birth mother cherishes her time alone with the baby. A time where she can say all of the things she wants to say to the baby. It may be time she needed to mourn, to hope and to say her good-byes. A time she can memorialize with pictures of her and the baby. Pictures she can send with the adoptive parents to keep for the baby.

COVID-19 has interrupted plans and changed some of the logistics, but it has not changed the beauty of adoption. The coming together of two mothers with the sole purpose of loving this child and wanting what is best for them all of the days of his/her life. Each mother is thankful for the other for the intricate part they play in this child’s life.

ICPC - Embrace The Wait

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Mon, 04 May 2020 15:41:09 GMT

ICPC - Embrace The Wait!

If you reside in another state and adopt a child who is born in Florida, you will have to go through the ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) process. This compact oversees the transport of children from one state to another in an adoption or foster care situation. It is a mandatory legal process and each state has their own ICPC office and process.

While this can be the most dreaded part of the adoption process, the ICPC Office’s job is to ensure the safety and welfare of each child moving from one state to another and is vital to the adoption and foster care system. A packet of documents providing the ICPC Office a complete picture of your adoption case is provided to the state of Florida ICPC Office first and then if approved, it is forwarded on to your home state for their approval. The staff will review the packet in a timely and efficient manner, but it can take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to gain approval. Of course, it is the goal of both My Florida Adoptions, LLC and the ICPC Offices to get each family home safely and as quickly as possible.

While we know it is so hard to wait for that phone call that you have been approved to return home (especially with family and friends anxiously awaiting your return) it is a sweet time to bond with your new baby and just enjoy a period of uninterrupted family time. Enjoy getting to know your baby. Enjoy Florida weather (especially if you are from the North). Take a walk on the beach, grab a grouper sandwich and don’t miss one of our fantastic sunsets. Visit with the birth mother and take pictures to memorialize your child’s birth place and birth family. Embrace

the Wait!

We Moved!

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Sun, 03 May 2020 16:21:21 GMT

New Home, Same Great Service

We recently moved! Our new location is at 24705 US Highway 19 North, Suite 306, Clearwater, Florida 33763. We are so excited to be centrally located within the Tampa Bay area to better service our clients.

Due to exciting growth within My Florida Adoptions, with both clients and staff, we were needing to move to a larger office space. We are excited to make our new space warm and inviting for all of our visitors. Feel free to visit us at any time! You can expect to see friendly faces, smell the brewing coffee (or tea) and of course there will be chocolate... lots of chocolate!

Gift Ideas For Birth Parents

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Thu, 30 Apr 2020 18:22:06 GMT

Gift Ideas For Birth Parents

It can be difficult to know what is appropriate to give the birth parents who are giving you or have given you the gift of a child! We recommend consulting your adoption agency on gifts during the adoption process, as you want to be sure of their policies and what they suggest with your specific match. Each situation is different, but here are a few of our birth parent gift ideas:

Jewelry Items

There are many options available when it comes to jewelry for birth parents. Charm bracelets, necklaces, and even earrings are often customized to represent the child or the adoption. You can also order custom items from online retailers who will create a piece of jewelry with the child’s birthstone or even their name on it. Another unique idea to consider is getting a set of jewelry that fits together. One item can be for a birth parent while the child wears the other half.

Personalized Pictures

Following placement, your child’s birth parents will enjoy receiving pictures of the child as they age. You can make this into a fun gift by framing a photo of them with the child on a recent visit or of a fun activity or event the child was recently involved in. If there are a few pictures to choose from, consider putting a collage of photos together for your child’s birth parents. Other products, such as coffee mugs, totes, and magnets, can also be decorated with pictures. Putting together a picture book for a birth parents is another way to share your child’s life with them, while making sure that they have pictures of milestones and significant events.

Custom Artwork

Over the years, personalized artwork created by your child can make an excellent gift for birth parents. Many schools actually use artwork fundraisers to help generate income for art clubs and supplies. The child’s artwork is then printed on a wide range of items from clothing to oven mitts to desk supplies. This is a great way to give a custom piece of artwork to birth parents that was totally created by the child. Choosing to purchase from a school fundraiser also helps benefit the school and shows the child how proud you are of their artwork.

Gift of Words

Personalized gifts that come from the heart are what many birth parents desire to connect to their child. Gifts not only show that you care for them as part of your child’s story but also make it easier for birth parents to connect with a child once apart. Looking back on something that the child created just for them can bring happiness and healing to birth parents. It is also essential to understand that gifts do not always have to be a physical item. Having your child write a letter to their birth parents is a great way to show love. The messy handwriting of a young child that graduates in time to the crafted script of an older child is something that many birth parents treasure. If your child feels comfortable writing, giving a letter is one of the best gifts.

Choosing the right gift to give to your child’s birth parents can be stressful. Stick with handmade or custom items that show the unique connection to the birth parents. Consider these ideas when selecting a gift idea for your child’s birth parents this year!

Questions to Ask When Choosing an Adoption Agency

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Tue, 28 Apr 2020 17:38:48 GMT

Questions to Ask When Choosing an Adoption Agency

It can take some time to find the right agency when starting the adoption process. There are many agencies out there, and they can all vary significantly from the size of agency you want to work with to the kind of adoption you are open to considering. Your adoption agency will be a massive part of your adoption process and can either make or break your experience through it all. Asking questions before you commit to an adoption agency is vital to find one that is perfect for your family. Consider these questions to ask when choosing an adoption agency on your journey to find your child:

What Are Your Core Values?

There is a wide variety of different adoption agencies. Some are backed by the government while others are private institutions or religion based. It is important to know what the core values of the adoption agency are as well as the standards that they put in place. Reading the history of the adoption agency and knowing their values will help you determine if you agree with their core values.

How Many Adoptive Families Are on Your Waiting List?

This question will help you decide how big your adoption agency is. The amount of active families on the adoption agency’s waiting list gives you a good idea of how many other families are waiting for a child. There are both positive and negative aspects depending on what kind of answer you get. Too many families can mean that the agency is popular and trusted but that there are a lot of people waiting for a child as well. A smaller agency may mean fewer families; but this may also give you the opportunity to see more adoption situations and/or experience a shorter wait time.

How Many Adoptions Did You Complete Last Year?

This is an important question because it will give you the success rate of the adoption agency in completing successful adoptions. It will also give you an idea of what to expect on estimated wait times and how long the process could take.

How Many Staff Members Do You Have?

There will be times during your adoption process when you do not hear from anyone for weeks. However, there will be other times when you need to speak to someone immediately. Knowing how many staff members the agency has will tell you if there are enough people to back up someone who may get sick or be on vacation right when you need them the most. If there are only a handful of employees, make sure to ask about how they cover work absences if you need to contact them.

How Much Does It Cost to Join the Agency?

We all know that it costs money to join an adoption agency through fees. However, knowing how much you plan to spend on adoption is critical to understand at the beginning of the journey. Do not be afraid to ask for estimates on services and the agency’s average adoption fees for the process. It is rare that you will only spend the minimum amount that is estimated so be prepared to spend more towards the higher end of the range that is estimated.

Do You Take Care of The Entire Adoption Process from Start to Finish?

Many adoption agencies may not have the legal means to see an adoption finalized. Make sure to ask this question to help you understand any kind of legal fees that will be needed towards the end of the adoption. Legal fees are quite expensive and can significantly increase, depending on the situation.

Do You Have Any Referrals?

One of the best ways to learn about an adoption agency is to talk to people who have been in your shoes before. Adoptive families are usually happy to share what they learned during the process for other families to adopt. Make sure that you take any contacts they give you and mix them with your own research that you have done on the agency yourself. Remember that everyone has different experiences when working with adoption agencies.

Having a list of questions to ask a potential adoption agency is essential when finding the right fit for you and your family. Make sure to ask plenty of questions even if they seem silly or unimportant. Being confident in your choice is vital to choosing the right agency for your adoption process. Consider these important questions to ask when choosing an adoption agency.

Meeting your Expectant Parent(s)

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Mon, 27 Apr 2020 18:24:15 GMT

Meeting your Expectant Parent(s)

Disclaimer: This post is specifically geared towards infant, domestic adoption. Typically, in an infant, domestic adoption, the Adoptive Parents and Expectant Parent(s) meet prior to delivery. This post will not be applicable to every adoption situation.

If you are going through the adoption process, you know very well that an important aspect following “The Match” is the first meeting between the Expectant Parent(s) and Adoptive Parents. The minute we say “meeting” to our clients, we know the sweat is starting to bead, as it can be anxiety ridden for everyone. The most common questions that we receive from our clients are, “What should we say?” “What should we NOT say?” “Can we ask about…?” AND the one we hear the most is, “What if he/she/they don’t like us?” These are all valid questions, so we want to walk you through how this meeting typically works.

First things first, the questions and anxiety that Adoptive Parents have, an Expectant Parent(s) often experience as well! Bet you didn’t think of that, did you? Those same questions that we hear from Adoptive Parents, the Expectant Parent(s)’s caseworker will often hear as well… “What if they don’t like me/us?” “What can I ask?” etc. So keep that in mind. This meeting is meant to be a positive experience for both sides. You will walk away from the meeting seeing your future child’s Birth Parent(s) and learning about them: their family, their history, their likes/dislikes, their dreams, etc. This is a memory you will have to share with your child one day, and a VERY important memory at that. So let us give you some tips as you prepare for that meeting:

1. Please do not dress like you are going to a sad, forced business meeting. Be comfortable and approachable! Dress like you are meeting a friend for lunch or dinner. Remember, your Expectant Parent(s) knows about you through your Adoption Profile Book, so you want to appear as you did in your book, personable.

2. Bring additional pictures that you did not include in your Profile Book. Have you recently gone on a vacation…recently run a ½ marathon, recently worked on your home? Bring some photos or show photos on your phone. This is always a great talking point; and you will be relaxed as it was an event, vacation, or project that you enjoy talking about.

3. Make sure that you ask the Expectant Parent(s) about their family and history. What traditions do they hold to that they would like to share with the child? Where do they get their love of music or art? This is a great segway into likes/dislikes. What are their favorite movies, foods, hobbies, activities, etc. Make mental notes of all of these things. Don’t break out the spiral notebook over your Chili’s appetizer, but as soon as you get back home, start writing it all down! Write down everything, even what food they ordered at the restaurant. This may sound trivial, but these are memories that will be important to your child one day. It should be up to him or her what is trivial to know and what is not, so write it all down!

4. Also, at the meeting, be sure to ask your Expectant Parent(s) what they would like the hospital experience to look like. This is only applicable if you are meeting the Expectant Parent(s) prior to delivery. It is important for the Expectant Parent(s) to voice their desires for the hospital. Remember, this is their plan, not yours! You may picture what you would like the hospital experience to look like; but, we are going to be blunt here…it doesn’t matter. The hospital is the Expectant Parent(s) time…their time to rest, their time to say goodbye, their time to physically heal, their time to make memories. Do not try and make it about you. This is their time, so support their “hospital plan.”

5. Bring a small gift! It can be as simple as a bouquet of flowers or a basket of pampering items. Try and make it as personal as you can. Find out your Expectant Mother’s favorite flowers or favorite lotions and your Expectant Father’s favorite book, music or sports team and select a gift accordingly. Also, if they have a child they are bringing to the meeting, bring a coloring book and crayons or a small toy as well. This small act of kindness will go a long way!

6. This is an important one…please pay for the meal. This is a simple gesture that will mean a lot, so when the waiter asks “One check or two”, say “ONE!” with enthusiasm.

7. This is the most important tip…take pictures! Your adoption caseworker or attorney will most likely be at this meeting, so have the caseworker or attorney take pictures of you altogether. When you get home, make a copy or two for the Expectant Parent(s) and send them to your agency or attorney, along with a note card stating how enjoyable the meeting was.

The meeting is a crucial part of the adoption process, but you will walk away happy that it happened. Meeting ahead of time, makes the hospital experience much smoother, as you have already met, and the pressure is off of your Expectant Parent(s), who will most likely see you next when in a hospital bed! Enjoy every part of this meeting, and don’t forget…remember every part of it.

5 Tips for a Successful Home Study

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Fri, 24 Apr 2020 14:39:22 GMT

5 Tips for a Successful Home Study

The term, “Home Study” can be a dreaded one for some families just beginning the adoption process. When I say these words to new prospective adoptive families , I know their mind instantly goes to: piles of paperwork, nosy social worker with a tight bun on her head, interviews, and college “white glove” nightmares; but the process does not need to be feared. In this post, I am going to educate you on the Home Study process, and give my own tips on how to survive it!

First, what is a Home Study ? Well, a Home Study, is just what it sounds like…it is a study of your home, family, and life. A Home Study is a requirement of ANY state in order to adopt a child ; and it must be completed by an agency or provider who is licensed in your State. This is one of the most important parts of the adoption process, and one that you must complete before even becoming approved to adopt! Some pieces involved in the Home Study process include: Background Clearances, Medical Reports, Employment Verifications, Personal References, Financial Statements, Questionnaires, Personal Interviews, gathering required documents and a Home Visit(s). A major part of the process also includes adoption education. This is the time to ask questions, questions, and more questions of your social worker. Your social worker will discuss the adoption process, what to expect, client trends, talking to a child about adoption, family support, and other issues having to do with adoption. Your agency/attorney may also require Infant Care classes, CPR training, etc. during the process as well.

The Home Study process typically takes about 4-6 weeks to complete; however, each home study agency or provider may have different timelines due to background clearances or scheduling, so please take that as an estimate only.

Now, here are my tips for a successful Home Study Process:

1. Be Organized! Even if organization is not your strong suit, just try it, as it will make the process much easier for you. When you receive your Home Study checklist, try to follow it. Gather each document and take each step one at a time, and then check it off. I know you are excited to get this done and get to the “waiting stage”, but you want to make sure the process is completed thoroughly. Keep a folder of the documents you collect and send everything to your social worker together once everything is gathered. Trust me, your social worker will love you for this, and will most likely shed one, small social worker tear when she receives your completed folder, in order and fully completed. Those are some of my best work days, and I always praise my families for it when it happens!

2. Do not fear the home visit! I know it sounds extremely scary and you will scrub those baseboards like you have never scrubbed before, but relax, it is not that bad. Now, your social worker will need to take a tour of your home, see where the child’s room will be, and make sure your home is clean and safe for a child to enter; BUT there is no such thing as the “social worker white glove”, or at least not in my social work world. I view the home visit as more of a time to get to know my families, educate them on adoption, answer their adoption questions, while also viewing their home, per home study regulations. I do not expect perfect cucumber sandwiches or a full brunch buffet (although banana nut muffins are my favorite); but I do want my families to feel at ease with me, so that we can discuss adoption openly and honestly.

3. Do not pretend like you completely understand the ado ption process and have no questions in sight. I won’t believe it…I will actually laugh quietly in my mind when you say you have no concerns or questions, because I know that’s not the truth! You do not have to pretend to know everything, and you shouldn’t know everything. That is what you need your social worker for! Utilize their knowledge of adoption and ask every question that comes to your mind. We want you to be well educated on the process, the risks, the possibilities and the facts, so speak openly.

4. Do not let the process overwhelm you. If you have questions on how to complete the paperwork, background clearances, reference letters, anything, ask your social worker for help. That is what we are there for! I would rather help you when you are working through the process, than to have to correct it with you later. Take one step at a time and ask for help when you need it.

5. Finally, do not fear the outcome. We do not simply put a huge stamp on a secret paper that says “approved” or “not approved”. It is a process that we work through with you. The Home Study is a serious requirement, as it assists us all in understanding your readiness to adopt and in determining what situations are best for you. Your social worker will get personal; but that is because we want the process to work for you; so be open and honest.

Social workers do not expect a relationship to be perfect, a family to be perfect, or a history to be perfect. We need to ensure that you are ready to adopt, ready to be a parent, and that your home and life is conducive for bringing a child into it safely and securely. Although a Home Study can be dreaded and seem time consuming, just remember, it is part of your journey to a child. Use my tips and steps above for surviving a successful Home Study!

4 Ways to Stay Organized During your Home Study Process

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Thu, 23 Apr 2020 20:42:57 GMT

4 Ways to Stay Organized During your Home Study Process

The adoption process can seem long, and many hopeful adoptive families may be surprised at the amount of paperwork, visits, and appointments are needed in order to complete the first step of the adoption journey, the home study. The journey of becoming adoptive parents starts with this important aspect of making sure that your home and family are prepared to receive a child. Check out these 4 ways to stay organized during your home study process:

Create A Binder

Your adoption agency or home study provider will have the necessary paperwork required for your home study, and it is always a good idea to make your own filing system at home. Consider creating a home study binder that has all of the paperwork that you will be given throughout your home study process. Use file dividers within the binder to keep sections of your home study paperwork together as well as make it easy to access when needed.

Make a Copy

It is a good idea to retain a copy of the paperwork you complete for your home study. Even with the upgrade of technology within the adoption process, you will be surprised at how many states still rely on actual hard copies of the required forms. Make sure that each document is copied in order to easily provide a replacement should anything get lost. The amount of time that it would take to track down the form, as well as the needed signatures and information on it is well worth the few minutes it will take to copy all of your paperwork.

Know the Timeline

One of the most important aspects of a home study is to be aware of the timeline needed in order to complete each requirement. Appointments may need to be made in advance for doctor appointments or fingerprinting. Be aware of what item needs to be done next and make sure to complete paperwork early, if possible. You do not want to delay the approval of your home study because a doctor is on vacation or a signature was forgotten.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask

There will be many points during your adoption process when you may have questions, so never be afraid to ask your agency or adoption professional . Make sure to stay on top of the home study process by sending a friendly email confirming what needs to be done, as well as the proposed timeline to meet a requirement. You are the number one advocate in completing your home study in a timely manner. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance and make sure that everything is being done in order to bring your child home as soon as possible.

The home study process can be overwhelming, but staying organized on your end will help alleviate many stressors. Make sure to create a binder at home of all of your copied home study paperwork and requirements. Knowing the timeline of how things should flow throughout the home study process is also important in order to not feel overwhelmed. Finally, do not ever be afraid to ask questions throughout the process in order to make sure that everything is being done to bring your child home as soon as possible.

4 Things to Prepare for When Announcing Adoption Plans

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 21:17:22 GMT

4 Ways to Stay Organized During your Home Study Process

Choosing to grow your family through adoption is a decision that you most likely did not choose lightly. Adoption is a process and the journey cannot guarantee that a child will one day take your last name. One of the trickiest parts of announcing you are hoping to adopt is how to present it to your family and friends. Here are 4 things to prepare for when announcing your adoption plans to the world:

*Understand the Shock

You may be surprised at how your parents, siblings, and other family members and friends react to your announcement that you are hoping to adopt. As a hopeful adoptive parent , you may dream of getting the same reaction that you would if you announced that you were pregnant. While this may be the case for some families, it may not be the reaction that you will receive. Adoption comes with an added weight of legal and financial issues that may worry those closest to you. Be prepared that some family members and friends may appear less excited than you had hoped for upon hearing the news.

*Anticipate Questions

There are many more questions to consider when announcing that you are hoping to adopt. Many people struggle to understand the process of adoption and may ask you many questions about the laws, birth parent situations, and possibilities that may arise. Consider thinking through these questions before your announcement and anticipate how you will answer them. People are naturally curious about the adoption process and may not even understand that some questions should be off limits. Give grace to those who bombard you with questions and answer them as honestly as possible. If there are questions that you do not know the answer to, be comfortable with stating you do not know.

*Guard Your Heart

There will probably be a few family members and friends who choose to tell you how they really feel about your adoption plans. There are many different adoption experiences, and it is common for hopeful adoptive parents to hear story after story about what could go wrong. Make sure to guard your heart when announcing your plans and understand that most people are trying to help even though it may not sound like it at first. Help those questioning your decision to understand that this is something that you feel strongly about and that you ask for respect even if they do not agree.

*Spread the Word

Announcing that you are hoping to adopt is a scary thing to do for any hopeful adoptive parent. It feels that you are jumping off a cliff and have no way of turning back if the process does not go as planned. Despite this feeling, make sure to spread the word that you are hoping to adopt. Oftentimes adoptions occur in the most unique ways and do not always come from an agency. Make sure that other people in your circle of friends know your plans to adopt and keep an eye out for anyone that might be considering adoption for their child. It is not unusual for children to be placed in their forever home because a friend or family member knew someone who was hoping to adopt.

Choosing to announce that you are hoping to adopt, or are in the process of an adoption, can be a scary thing to do. However, there are ways to prepare for this big turning point in your life in order to make the process smoother and more enjoyable. Make sure to consider these 4 things to prepare for when announcing your adoption plans.

Where to Find Support for Birth Mothers

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Mon, 20 Apr 2020 21:18:23 GMT

Where to Find Support for Birth Mothers

Do you wish that there was more support available for birth mothers and fathers ? Many refer to birth parents as the “unsung heroes” of the adoption triad. They are an integral part to the successful placement of a child in a loving adoptive home, and yet there seems to be very little support or encouragement for these individuals. Fortunately, the landscape of adoption is changing to offer more resources available to birth parents and birth mothers specifically.

You can find the support you need and crave whether you want an online support group, access to reliable resources about adoption, or a retreat where you can meet others like yourself. There are plenty of options available to help you feel more comfortable with your decision and process through the grief of losing a child to adoption. Here are just a few of the places you might want to look first in order to find some support for your adoption plan:

BirthMom Buds

BirthMom Buds is one of several online organizations that provides support to birth mothers and pregnant women who might be considering adoption. They are a faith-based organization that offers peer counseling, private forums for birth mothers only, and even an annual retreat exclusively for birth moms. Here, you can find resources, blogs , and the support that you need to make a wise decision regarding the adoption of your child.

Birth Mother Baskets

Birth Mother Baskets is a unique organization that is designed to provide tangible support and encouragement to mothers who are placing their child for adoption. This nonprofit company allows individuals to sponsor baskets anonymously to send support to expectant mothers. They also have an Expectant Parent Peer program that partners expecting mothers with birth mothers who have already been through the adoption experience firsthand.

One of their most valuable offerings is their blog run by birth mothers who have already walked through the pain of placing a child. You can find firsthand experiences, tips for coping with the grief, and more information on what it’s like to be a birth parent through this amazing resource.

On Your Feet Foundation

The On Your Feet Foundation is another nonprofit that offers case management, monetary grants (available in Illinois and Indiana), and annual retreats to birth mothers who need more assistance after an adoption plan is made. The idea is that they will help her to get “back on her feet” after the pain of losing a child through the adoption process. Their annual retreats and mini-retreats are relatively inexpensive, offering you the opportunity to connect with other mothers who have already been through the entire process personally.

Three Strands

Three Strands wants every birth mother to fully know and understand that her role in the adoption triad is valued. Too often, birth mothers may feel unappreciated or devalued through the adoption process, particularly after the hospital experience when she leaves empty-handed. However, Three Strands aims to combat these feelings with a tangible outpouring of support. One of their services is to provide each local birth mother with a hospital bag directly before she leaves the hospital in order to lift her spirit.

In addition to these gift bags, Three Strands also offers other forms of support for birth mothers before and after the placement is made. They have a private Facebook community for birth mothers, adoptive mothers, and adult adoptees. Quarterly gatherings are also hosted for birth mothers who live local near the Lawrenceville, Georgia area.

Concerned United Birthparents

Concerned United Birthparents (CUB) is yet another online organization that aims to offer support and encouragement to birth parents. They focus on the experiences, healing, and wisdom that experienced birth parents can offer to newcomers on this painful journey. However, they don’t exclusively cater to birth parents. CUB also allows anyone who feels forgotten during the adoption journey to join their circle of support. This can include adult adoptees, professionals, and even adoptive parents.

With such a wide circle of support available, they aim to help raise awareness and benefit each member of the adoption triad equally. You will find plenty of resources and support available even if you are just in the beginning stages of considering an adoption plan for your child.

This organization also hosts an annual retreat where you can get to know and hear from other birth parents who have shared your same experiences. Their retreats are usually located somewhere near the shore to give you a beautiful and relaxing space for reflection on your experiences.

Birth Mothers Unite!

Do you want support and encouragement for your decision to make an adoption plan but are too shy to reach out in person? Birth Mothers Unite is an excellent compromise that can give you the resources you need from experienced birth parents. This Facebook group gives you a small and close-knit community where you can ask questions, receive encouragement, and commiserate through the grieving process with other mothers who have been there and done that already. You gain access to the support you need from the convenience of your own home whenever you need it the most!

Our Agency

My Florida Adoptions, LLC wants to ensure our birth mothers have the support they need. Many times birth mother’s feel left behind after they have placed for adoption. It is our intent that supports are put in place ahead of time. Every birth mother is offered counseling during their pregnancy and following the placement of their baby with the adoptive family. It is important for a birth mother to receive the support and encouragement she needs whether it is through counseling or other birth mothers. Who knows your pain better than someone who has experienced the same pain? Please know that you can reach out to us at any time for support and counseling.

Who Is A Birth Mother?

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Fri, 17 Apr 2020 21:52:57 GMT

Who Is A Birth Mother?

When we discuss adoption, many blogs and articles will cover what is expected of adoptive parents or tips for raising an adopted child. These are certainly important topics, but they often miss the heart of a very important aspect of the adoption triad: the birth mother. Birth mothers are an incredibly significant part of a child’s life story in both open and closed adoptions. However, we often don’t know much about who a birth mother is or what she means to the child that you might be raising.

Who is a birth mother ? Let’s take a few minutes today to dispel any myths that you might believe about who this important woman is and how she relates to your family.

Who is a Birth Mother?

A birth mother is any woman that has given birth to a child and placed that child with another family for adoption. She might have placed them for adoption directly at the hospital or waited until they were much older to make an adoption plan. No matter how old the child was at the time of placement, it is important to remember that a birth mother is still an incredibly important part of a child’s story. After all, she was the one who ultimately gave them life from the very beginning.

There is a common myth that all birth mothers are young women, usually still in high school or college. While it is true that many young women choose to make an adoption plan and become a birth mother at this age, many birth mothers are actually older women. There is no specific age range or demographic where all birth mothers tend to fit. She could be your next door neighbor, your doctor, or the woman who hands you your bags at the grocery checkout line.

Why Does a Birth Mother “Give Up” Her Child?

First and foremost, we need to remember that a birth mother does not simply give up her child. She makes a painful decision to place her child for adoption with another family. It isn’t a matter of whether or not she wants the child. All birth mothers love and adore their children, but they know and understand that they are not in the best position to raise a child at this time.

A birth mother might place her child for adoption for any number of reasons. She might be too young and feel that she has too much work ahead of her to focus on raising a child at this moment. There could be too many things vying for her attention in the coming years for her to have enough time and energy left to take care of her child.

Other birth mothers might place a child for adoption because of religious reasons. They might be forbidden to have a child out of wedlock, for example. Without placing the child for adoption, they will face excommunication from their church and family members.

Of course, some birth mothers could have a need to place a child for adoption because of harsher circumstances. They might be in an abusive relationship with very little way out, and adoption may be the only option to protect the child from a lifetime of abuse. She could struggle with a substance abuse disorder or a mental illness that renders her unable to care for the child.

No matter what the reason for placing a child for adoption, it is clear that a birth mother is not simply “giving up” her child. She has put a great deal of thought into what is best for her and what is best for the child before she forms an adoption plan.

What Role Does a Birth Mother Play in Adoption?

Understanding the role that a birth mother plays in adoption can be a tricky endeavor because it is so unique. This often depends on the plan made between the adoptive family and the birth family prior to the placement of the child. It is referred to as the openness of the adoption.

A closed adoption means that the birth mother will play no role in the adoption after the final placement. She may not see or speak to the child once he or she is placed with the adoptive family. This can be a great struggle for her because she does love the child immensely, but she knows that she is ultimately doing what is best for the child. However, the child is likely to grow up with questions about the birth mother that can’t be answered in a closed adoption.

An open adoption gives the birth mother an opportunity to be a part of the child’s life and answer their questions as they get older. She may be allowed to visit the child on a regular basis or the adoptive parents might allow phone calls, letters, and pictures to be sent back on forth on a scheduled basis. Open adoptions can take on a number of different levels, but they all allow the birth mother to play an important role in the life of her child.

Many adoptive parents hesitate to consider an open adoption because they worry that the birth mother might attempt to take the child back. However, they usually don’t have to fear that this is the case. A birth mother is ultimately a woman who has her child’s best interests in mind. She made the courageous decision to place the child with your family and she isn’t likely to interfere with the placement years down the road.

A birth mother is an amazing woman who makes a courageous decision to give her child the best possible life. Understanding who she is and where she comes from can give you a greater understanding of your child’s story. She is the woman who gave life to your child and wants the very best for them. It’s important to remember to honor her role in the adoption triad when you speak with others and with your child.

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Birth Mother Grief

Thu, 16 Apr 2020 21:54:10 GMT

Birth Mother Grief

You spent time deliberating over how to best care for your child in the future. As a result, you chose to make an adoption plan to give them the brightest future you could possibly imagine even though it was a difficult and painful decision. As the months ticked by, you may have even been excited for your little one to meet their new family. However, most birth mothers are not prepared for the grief that they feel when the loss sets in. Even though you know the baby is going to be safe and well cared for and you know you chose the right family for them, it is still a major loss for you as a birth parent. This means that you will need to work through your grief, just as you would under any other circumstance.

Unfortunately, too many birth mothers are unprepared for the grief that hits them when the adoption is officially finalized. They may not know what to expect or how to handle that feeling of loss in a healthy way. Here are just a few things you should know about the mourning process and how it plays out in your daily life.

Grief doesn’t always mean sadness.

Many people believe that grief can only mean sadness for the child that you lost. However, not everyone experiences grief as a profound sense of sadness. It has the potential to surface as a number of other emotions including denial, anger, worry, anxiety, confusion, shock, embarrassment, and even guilt. This barrage of feelings leads birth mothers to respond uniquely in the days and weeks that follow their adoption and even during their pregnancy.

You may do everything you can to avoid dealing with the situation, pretend it never happened, or wrestle with your decision to place the child for adoption. Some birth mothers berate themselves for even getting pregnant in the first place because they feel so ashamed and embarrassed. On any given day, you might feel all of these emotions at different times or at the same time. Grief is a true rollercoaster for most people, and you must figure out how to address these feelings one by one.

Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak.

Most adoption agencies offer post-adoption support for birth mothers who need it. This may mean one-on-one sessions with a professional therapist or a support group specifically for birth mothers. Asking for access to this sort of help doesn’t make you a weak person. It simply means that you are having a difficult time with this current process and could use some professional help. Take advantage of the support that is available to you in these difficult moments.

If you don’t feel comfortable seeing a professional counselor for your grief, make sure that you are staying connected with supportive family and friends. Spend very little time with people who question or disagree with your decision to create an adoption plan. You need to spend some time talking about what you are going through and those people will not be able to encourage or support you.

If neither of these options appeals to you, you can always search out online help from forums on Birthmom Buds and Life After Placement. Both of these groups are specifically for birth mothers who might be struggling with their decision to place a child or their grief after a placement has been made. This gives you an anonymous and easy way to get the help you need whenever you need it.

Take a break from photos.

Having an open adoption with your child’s adoptive family can be a wonderful and beautiful thing. Keep in mind that you may need a little bit of space right after the placement occurs so that you can grieve. Try to avoid spending hours sifting through their photos and/or refrain from hanging any of them in your house right now. You need to take plenty of time to breathe and grieve on your own without the constant reminder. By flipping through pictures daily, you are making things harder on yourself. You can always go back through and look at these older pictures in the weeks ahead when you are feeling better. I also heard a profession once advice that one limits their time during the day to reminisce. So maybe you look at photos in the morning for a short time, feel some of the grief, do some of the grief work such as journaling and then go on with the day.

Grief is like the waves of the ocean. A wave of grief comes in and washes over you and you may feel a number of feelings all at once. The wave will go back out and you get a break from the grief. However, something will trigger the grief again like looking at photos, or a certain commercial and then another wave will come in and wash over you. Eventually the waves do not come in as frequently and they are not as intense as they were in the beginning and the do not stay as long.

Find an outlet for your grief.

All of the feelings that you have bottled up inside of you have to go somewhere. You need to find an outlet where you can express your emotions freely without judgment by any individual. Some people have friends who can listen to them vent without judgment, but many birth mothers do not feel comfortable with this. It can be challenging to find someone who truly understands their unique situation. Whether you feel comfortable or not, you still need to find an outlet for your emotions that allows you to express yourself completely.

Try to come up with a way for you to share your feelings in a private manner, such as in a journal or a sketchbook. This gives you the most freedom of expression for your emotions. Here are a few other things that you might want to try as well:

• Yoga

• Running or taking a long walk

• Making a scrapbook

• Starting an art project

• Finding a song that brings healing or tells your story

Grief is a serious mixture of emotions that you will need to work through before you can find peace with your decision to place a child for adoption. It might look different on different days, but the reality is that you are still struggling with the loss of your child through adoption. Nothing can truly prepare you for the pain of that heartbreaking but necessary decision. Accept that some days might be better than others. It’s possible that you will take one step forward and two steps backward when it comes to healing from your adoption placement. This is all perfectly normal. Cry when you have to and laugh when you can.

The important thing is to reach out for help if you need it. Nobody needs to suffer in silence when there is so much help and support available to you. Reach out online or in person to someone that you know and trust. Expressing your grief can make the difference in your healing process, as it is the way to work through the grief that accompanies an adoption.

How to Acknowledge Your Birth Children on Special Occasions

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Wed, 15 Apr 2020 06:25:33 GMT

How to Acknowledge Your Birth Children on Special Occasions

As a birth mother, two of the most painful things you can go through are special occasions and holidays that pop up throughout the year. Birthdays, Christmas, and Thanksgiving are all difficult times to be reminded that your child is no longer with you to celebrate. It can be even more challenging to face these days when you have a closed adoption without contact with the new adoptive family. How can you honor the memory of your birth children without having contact with them during these special moments?

Many birth mothers struggle to find meaningful ways to acknowledge their children throughout the year. They might think of the child every single day, but those special occasions are almost unbearable when they lack a certain connection with the child. It can cause them to grieve the loss of their baby all over again. Here are a few ways that you can help to acknowledge your birth children on special occasions from the comfort of your own home.

Light a Candle

The first thing you can do to honor your child’s life during these special moments is to light a candle. This gives you a visual representation of their life right on your coffee table, your nightstand, or anywhere else that you might need some extra comfort. Say a few words over the candle as if you are speaking directly to your child. You might share with them how much you love them, how often you think about them, or how much you wish they were with you for this special moment.

It can help you to get those feelings out into the open instead of holding them all inside for an indefinite period of time. When you’re finished, you can blow out the candle and move on with the rest of your day. Some people may prefer to leave the candle burning throughout the entire day so that it feels more like their child is with them. The choice is ultimately up to you.

Keep a Journal

Some birth moms decide to keep a journal that they will give to their child later in life. Special occasions are a great opportunity to add another entry into this journal. Similar to how you might talk to the lit candle, this is a great opportunity for you to share just how much you love your child. You might also want to consider writing down the basic things that are going on in your life at this moment so that you have a record of the events that happened while the two of you were apart.

Even if you never get to give this journal to your child in the future, it is a great way to deal with your feelings of loss on a special occasion. You have a tangible reminder that you thought of your child and created something special for them.

Make a Card

Similar to keeping a journal, making a card is a creative way for you to express how you feel about your child on this special occasion. You can use construction paper and glue or purchase a store-bought card where you write a heartfelt message inside. The final quality of the card isn’t as important as the message that you write inside of it. This is another opportunity for you to share all of your feelings about the holiday or event that your child is missing. Describe it for them in great detail and include how much you wish they were going to be there with you.

When you’re finished with the card, you may want to hold onto it. Be sure to include the date that you made the card and file it away with other mementos that you save for your child. These may be something that you are able to reflect on with them one day in the future or they might be just for your benefit.

Update a Photo Book

Create a photo album that has pictures of all the special events that your child is missing over the years. After the event is over, be sure to go through and add these special pictures into the book to make a complete story from the years. If you are particularly crafty, some birth mothers choose to make their photo album like a scrapbook with creative framing, little notes, and stickers that match the occasion. Other birth mothers choose to make a plain photo book using a premade version bought at the store. Both options are beautiful ways to commemorate the moments that you wish your child could have been there with you.

Paint Your Feelings

If you really love to express yourself creatively, you may want to consider painting your feelings. Grab a canvas or some watercolor paper to paint a picture of what this moment means to you. You can paint a representation of a special moment from the day, what your child would look like if they were a part of it, or an abstract representation of your feelings. There are no wrong ways to express yourself when it comes to painting your feelings. This is a beautiful way to acknowledge your child and create something tangible all at the same time. Much like the cards and photo book, you can hold onto this painting to share with your child in the future.

Special occasions and holidays are difficult times for most birth mothers who simply wish that their child could have been with them. While they know that they made the right decision, they often struggle with a sense of grief and loss during these hard times. Having something tangible to do to acknowledge your child may help you to overcome some of these feelings and still enjoy the special moments in your life. Take a few moments to evaluate which one could work best for you and start to create a ritual that allows you to feel more connected to your child, even from a distance.

Providing Support and Encouragement to Birth Mothers

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Fri, 10 Apr 2020 06:30:11 GMT

Providing Support and Encouragement to Birth Mothers

Jul 04, 2018

When a birth mother is getting ready to place her child for adoption, she tends to have a lot going on emotionally and physically. She might still be trying to work a full-time job, process her feelings about the upcoming adoption, and handle her pregnancy. Meanwhile, many of her friends and family members might be questioning or criticizing her choice to make the sacrificial decision to place her child for adoption. It can be an overwhelming period of time in her life which is why she needs more support than ever before.

Adoptive parents can do a few small things to help offer support to a birth mother they have a relationship with. These gestures of support and encouragement can go a long way towards letting her know that she is loved and appreciated during this season. They may even help her to better handle the daily stresses of work and the adoption. Help to put her mind at ease and support her with a few of these very simple acts.

Let her know that you are aware she loves her child .

One of the most intense fears that a birth mother has is that her child will grow up believing that she didn’t love or want them. Adoptive parents can help to support a birth mother in her decision to place the child for adoption by letting her know that you’re aware of her love for the baby. Encourage her by telling her how sacrificial her decision is and how admirable and mature it is that she is putting her child’s needs before her own desires. Offer her an opportunity to write a letter or create a card that explains her reasons for choosing adoption to her child when they get older. This might put her mind at ease and quell the fear that her child will feel abandoned later in life.

Create a care package for her.

If you have regular contact with your birth mother, consider creating a care package for her. You can include items like lotions and relaxing candles that she can use to pamper herself during the last few months of her pregnancy. Include some of her favorite snacks, a maternity shirt, or other practical items that she can use on a regular basis. These sweet gestures remind her that she is loved and will continue to be a part of your lives through an open adoption over the years to come.

Develop a system for communication once the child arrives.

An open adoption often requires a lot of planning and preparation to determine how much contact everyone will have once the child is placed with the adoptive family. You can start to develop a system for communication right now to help ease the tension and stress for the birth mother. You might use a special Facebook or Google page to share pictures and updates with each other or come up with a scrapbook that you will send in six months. The options for the best and easiest way to communicate are almost endless. Coming up with the idea that will work the best right now means that you are ahead of things and can use this to support your birth mother’s decision to place the child with you. As you may be nervous that your birth mother may change her mind and not place her baby for adoption in the end, the birth mother is nervous that the adoptive parents will change their mind and not follow through with pictures, updates or visits in the end.

Send pictures of the nursery.

As you get things ready for the child, one of the ways that you can support a birth mother’s decision to place the baby is by showing her your preparation. Demonstrate tangible ways that you are already loving this child and getting ready for him or her to come home from the hospital. Sending pictures of the nursery and any other space that you create for the baby can definitely prove to a birth mom just how much you already love this child. This can put her mind at ease that the child will be well taken care of and cared for throughout these first few months.

Try to connect them with more support.

Many birth mothers can feel extremely isolated because of their decision to place the child for adoption. One of the ways that adoptive parents can support birth mothers is to connect them with places and organizations that specialize in encouraging birth mothers. Consider telling them about organizations like BirthMom Buds and Life After Placement to help them connect with others who are in similar situations. Remind them that many adoption agencies offer counseling and support groups for birth parents. All of this support can give her more peace of mind about the selfless decision she is making.

Birth mothers make an incredibly difficult decision to place their child for adoption with a family that they may not know very well. In addition to all of the regular stress of work and a pregnancy, a birth mother might need more support and encouragement from the people around her. This can include the adoptive family who is going to be receiving her new child. All it takes are a few simple actions to let her know that she is loved and that her decision is understood. She needs to know that she is making a selfless choice out of love for her unborn child and that other people know and understand that decision.

With a few of these easy gestures and activities, you can offer a greater degree of support and encouragement to a birth mom today. Which of these supportive ideas will you want to do for her first?

Top Qualities to Help Navigate Your Adoption Journey

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Thu, 09 Apr 2020 06:32:56 GMT

Top Qualities to Help Navigate Your Adoption Journey

Jun 22, 2018

Have you ever wondered if adoption is for you? The good news is that it requires far less than you might imagine. You won’t need superhuman qualities in order to love a child unconditionally. Fortunately, most prospective adoptive parents already possess all of the attributes they need for a successful adoption.

If you have ever wondered whether you have what it takes to be an amazing adoptive parent , check out this list of important qualities that will help you navigate your adoption journey.

Patience

Patience is required during every step of the adoption process. You will wait while a social worker completes your home study. You will wait to be matched with a birth mother . You will wait for the baby to arrive. You will wait for the legal paperwork to be completed. You will wait for that court hearing that finalizes the adoption. Waiting is a mandatory part of an adoption process, so its important for prospective adoptive parents to embrace patience from the very beginning.

Flexibility

Things don’t always happen according to your timing when it comes to adoption. You have to be a little bit flexible to work with your agency, the hospital, your birth parents, and the legal system. You may need to adjust your expectations or re- evaluate your response to certain situations. Not everyone thinks the same way that we think or sees things the same way that we see things. What you would do in a particle instance, may not be what another may decide to do. Flexibility is a must-have for your adoption journey.

Sense of Humor Adopting a child can be a major challenge for adoptive parents. Friends and Family have the best intentions, but sometimes say things that are not very supportive or helpful. There can be some stressful moments, like when you drive across the states trying to get to the birth mother when you learn she is in labor and you leave your car seat and diaper bag at home. Having a sense of humor that allows you to laugh at yourself and the situation will help make everything feel more tolerable. Remember, laughter is the best medicine.

Educable

You can never know all there is to know about adoption or what it is like to be an adoptee. Be willing to continue learning everything you can about how to parent your new child. Take classes on how to be more emphatic and understanding of their background and their loss. Ask your adoption agency for a list of books that you can read to learn more about a particular area, especially one where you might be struggling. Remember that what worked for one child may not work for another. Always be teachable so that you can be the best parent you can be.

Consistency

Children need to know that they are safe in your home. One of the easiest ways to create that feeling of safety is to offer consistency with your parenting style. Provide consistent consequences with certain behaviors. Children will learn what the expectations are and will know what to expect. Create consistent bedtime routines and consistent ways of expressing love and affection. This is where safety and security are truly formed.

Acceptance

You never know what a child might be experiencing or what sort of behavior they will display. A parent needs to have unconditional acceptance for the child while dealing with behaviors through discipline. We all want to be accepted and loved. It is equally important to let them know that you accept their birth parents as well as they are part of their birth parents . As you love and accept their birth mother, you love and accept them.

Loving Heart

Perhaps the most important quality for a parent to possess is a loving heart. While every child does need safety and stability, they also need a parent who is going to love them unconditionally and champion them through the years. If you know that you have a loving heart, it will be easier for you to add all these other attributes to your repertoire of skills. It is important for an adoptee to know how loved they are. They are loved by their adoptive parents and they are loved by their birth parents as well. A lot of people loved them and made decisions that they felt were in their best interest.

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Choosing An Adoption Agency

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Wed, 08 Apr 2020 06:34:07 GMT

Choosing An Adoption Agency

Adoptive parents have a lot of decisions to make when they first set out on the journey to an adoption. They must consider what type of adoption they want to pursue, the degree of openness they want with birth parents, and more. However, they have one important consideration that must not be overlooked – choosing an adoption agency. Selecting the right agency can equip parents with a full team of professionals who are experienced and knowledgeable.

A brief online search will reveal hundreds and thousands of adoption agencies across the country. Some will only work with families who live in the same state while others have multiple locations that work nationwide. Each one has an appealing website that may make you wonder how you’re supposed to choose just one agency. What criteria do you look for to find the perfect adoption agency?

When it comes to beginning the adoption process, choosing an agency is one of the very first steps you need to take. Here are five must-have criteria that you should look for in a potential agency.

Look for the license.

Make sure that you are protecting your own interests and the interests of your future child by only working with adoption agencies that are licensed by the state. The actual requirements for obtaining this license will vary based on your location. However, standards do exist in every state to set the minimum requirements to place children in a home. They even dictate how informed the staff must be when it comes to adoption policies. For example, staff might have certain education or training requirements before the agency can consider them an employee. Here in Florida, staff must be Adoption Competent Certified by the Department of Children and Families to perform home studies and provide adoptive parent training. This includes 32 hours of training.

Search for reviews online.

Many adoption agencies are accredited with the Better Business Bureau or can easily be found online. While not everything you see on the Internet is true, it can be beneficial to read through any reviews you find. Be wary of an agency that only has negative reviews online. A few bad reviews in the midst of resoundingly positive ones is normal for any business. Keep in mind that some of these reviews might be from disgruntled individuals who weren’t found to be good candidates for adoption or other unique circumstances.

Attempt to ask more questions about their program.

An adoption agency that wants to work with your family should be open to answering any questions you may have. Attempt to ask some of your most pressing questions about their program to gauge their response. If the agency shies away from answering all of your questions, you may want to consider that suspect. They should always be forthcoming with all of the details surrounding their adoption process and program. Here are a few questions that you may want to consider asking upfront:

How much will it cost and when will we need to pay? What is your refund policy for a failed adoption?
What are the training and eligibility requirements?
How long does the adoption process take?

Not only should the agency freely answer all of your questions, they also need to do so in a timely manner. Come to expect that a potential adoption agency should promptly return all of your emails and phone calls regarding questions. If they can’t respond now, it may be difficult to get in touch with them when a major need arises later.

Request detailed information on training and support.

Learning how to parent a child who was placed with you through adoption requires you to change the way you parent. There are unique needs and considerations that you must keep in mind for an adopted child. You will need excellent training and education to equip you for the years ahead. After all, this child is going to be with you for a lifetime. Now is the best time to start preparing for what that is like and how you can best care for your new son or daughter.

Similarly, you should ask what types of support they have available post-adoption. Some agencies will offer support groups or counseling services. Maybe your adoption agency can make referrals to places that offer more intensive support if that is what you need later on. No matter what, they should be able to offer you something in terms of post-adoption support services.

Selecting the right adoption agency is a crucial first step to a successful adoption process. Your agency workers are going to be spending a lot of time with you, so make sure that you are compatible with one another. If you feel like an agency isn’t a good fit for your family even though it meets all of the criteria, don’t hesitate to find another one. Every family is unique and may require a different approach to a successful adoption.

Help!! Child Welfare Is Going To Terminate My Parental Rights

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Tue, 07 Apr 2020 06:35:02 GMT

Help!! Child Welfare Is Going To Terminate My Parental Rights

What do I do when I can’t complete my Case Plan ? What do I do when the State is threatening to terminate my parental rights? What do I do when I have had two children terminated and placed for adoption through the State and NOW they have another one of my children?

What do I do when I want what is best for my child, but know that I am not able to give them that?

What do I do to ensure my child does not linger in foster care and then get adopted by someone I don’t even know and then having to move forward not knowing how my child is doing?

THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO –

It is called an Intervention. If the State plans to terminate your parental rights to your child, you can choose to place your child for adoption through a private adoption entity (a law firm or adoption agency ).

Even if you are not close to having your rights terminated and your child has only been in foster care a month, you can choose to place your child for adoption though a private adoption entity.

If you choose to make an adoption plan for your child, you will be able to select the adoptive family from profile books that we provide for you to review. We can set up a meeting for you to meet the adoptive family and the adoptive family will provide pictures and updates on how your child is progressing. They will update you on his or her milestones, likes and dislikes, personality and character, as well as education and sports involvement.

You can have the peace of knowing that you selected the family that you felt was best for your child. You can rest knowing your child’s needs are being met and that your child is aware that they are truly loved by you and by their adoptive parents.

You can enjoy pictures and updates to help you watch your child grow and see how well they are doing.

Please call us today. We are ready to help you find the right family for your child.

Surviving the Adoption Wait

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Tue, 31 Mar 2020 06:35:35 GMT

Surviving the Adoption Wait

You have chosen your agency or attorney of choice. You survived that dreaded Home Study. You spent hours creating your Profile Book. You are officially “APPROVED to adopt”, so what now? The past few months have been leading up to this moment and you were feverishly filling out forms, scheduling interviews, doctor’s appointments, and pulling all of your creativity into an 8×11 book, and now you are told to simply, “wait.” Excuse me now? You have been in fact “waiting” to add a child to your family for what seems like forever already and “now” is when the waiting starts? The true and dreadful answer to that question is “Yes.” However, this time of waiting does not have to be filled with anxiety or checking each day off of that calendar in your kitchen. Here are my “Social Worker Approved” tips for surviving the wait!

4. Start a blog or vlog…if you are into that sort of thing. This can be a great outlet and way for your family and friends to support you throughout your adoption journey.

6. “Date” your spouse. No matter how long you have been waiting and preparing to add a child to your family, your lives are about to change…even if you have children already! Use this time to strengthen your relationship as a couple. Go on dates, a weekend getaway or that cruise you have always wanted to go on. Have no money left after your adoption savings…have a date night in and binge watch some Netflix. If you are adopting as a single parent, then use this time to take that one trip, visit with out of state friends or family, etc. Take time for what is important as you wait!

The wait is just another part of your journey to adopt a child. You will look back on this wait one day and think it was completely worth it…trust me, you will!

Do you have any tips for families “surviving the wait?” If so, I would love to hear them

8 Expert Tips for Prospective Adoptive Parents

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Fri, 27 Mar 2020 06:36:19 GMT

8 Expert Tips for Prospective Adoptive Parents

May 20, 2018

When you hear people talk about the adoption process, it can sound like a daunting experience. There are home study visits, paperwork to compile, and interviews to conduct. Your adoption agency will request background checks and fingerprinting. The entire process can feel overwhelming and impossible. For families who are just getting ready to start the process of adopting, there’s good news: the adoption process doesn’t have to be so intimidating.

Preparing for the process can help things to go much smoother once you officially get started. This is the key to having a successful process that doesn’t feel burdensome. Follow these expert tips to help you move through the early stages of your adoption with greater ease.

Photocopy all important documents.

One of the first things that your adoption agency is likely to ask for is a copy of your important documents. Most people have copies of all their personal paperwork, but you need to make sure to order copies if you don’t. Go ahead and make a copy of these papers so they are available when you need them. You can even scan them into the computer so they will be easy to email off to your worker at the right time.

Keep in mind that you will need paperwork for all of your family members, including any children in the home. Here are a few of the most commonly requested documents that your social worker will need:

Birth certificates

Social security cards

Driver’s licenses

Marriage certificates (if applicable)

Divorce decrees (if applicable)

Immunization records

Report cards for children

Take your pets to the veterinarian.

Most states do require you to keep your pet’s vaccines up to date. A social worker will need to see copies of their most recent vaccinations to prove that they have had their rabies shots. Many pet owners tend to allow these vaccines to lapse over the course of the year, so it might be a great time to get your furry friends healthy too. Be sure to ask your veterinarian about the three-year rabies vaccine. The adoption process can sometimes be very long, so this could prevent you from needing to update your paperwork annually.

Childproof your home.

Depending on your adoption agency, they might require that you childproof the home before your home study visits. This allows them to determine whether your house is safe for the child. Be sure to ask them in advance if this is something they will look for. You can go ahead and install outlet covers, cabinet locks, and the other child-safety items that you will need once the child comes home. Also be sure to have working smoke detectors in the general living areas as well as the bedroom areas.

Schedule a doctor’s appointment.

Many adoption agencies require you to have a current physical before they can approve your family for adoption. Ask them for a copy of their physical form early in the process so that you can go ahead and make a doctor’s appointment for everyone in the home. This will include children. For large families, scheduling six doctor’s appointments or more can definitely take some time. Doctors may not have appointments available on the same day or at times that are convenient for you. It’s best to go ahead and take care of this item before you get too far into the adoption process.

Read the books.

You want to be educated on the intimate details of adoption before your child comes home. After all, will you really have time to read books with a brand-new child in the bedroom down the hall? Ask for a list of books that your adoption agency recommends or requires you to read. This is a great time to head to the local bookstore and pick up copies. The sooner you can read these books, the sooner you’re reading and education requirement will be complete. You will also be in a much better position to ask thoughtful questions of your social worker and agency if you are better educated.

Apply for grants.

It’s no secret that private adoptions can be expensive sometimes. Agency fees really add up, but there are some ways to offset the cost. Start researching, which grants your family, would qualify for. You can make one long list of companies and organizations that have grant money for qualifying families. Many of them won’t allow you to apply until you have a completed home study, but the research and application portion could already be finished and waiting for submission.

Research providers for your new child.

When your new child arrives, you need to know exactly where you plan to take them. Will they be going to the pediatrician down the street? Maybe you need to find a new daycare that’s closer to home for your new bundle of joy. No matter where they need to go, you should already have a plan in place for how it is going to be handled. If you need to, this is a great time to tour new facilities and interview the professionals who would be working with your child.

Find support .

Adoption agencies often want to see that you have some support for your decision to adopt a child. This is an excellent time to seek out local support groups or parents’ meetings for adoptive families. Look for groups sponsored by the adoption agency, local churches, and other organizations that frequently get involved with adoption and foster care. This is a great place to build new friendships and a safe space for your future child to find others who are in a similar situation.

Many families are so intimidated by the adoption process that they delay starting for years. However, you can prepare for everything that is coming your way with some of these expert tips. They can help you to get organized and cross some of the more time-consuming components off your list of things you need to do. Being prepared for the process is key to erasing that feeling of being overwhelmed. Start gathering up your paperwork and making phone calls today so that your dreams of adoption can become a reality.

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Surviving a Failed Adoption Match

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Mon, 23 Mar 2020 06:36:58 GMT

Surviving a Failed Adoption Match

Feb 12, 2018

When prospective adoptive parents receive that call, and hear the words they have been waiting to hear, there may be a flood of emotion. The adoption coordinator says, “You have been selected.” The prospective adoptive parents may question what they just heard. Really? What? We have been selected? Hope rises and then fear creeps in and then there is a dance between hope and fear. Hope wants to start working on the nursery and fear is bracing for loss.

There is a reality of failed adoption matches. A failed match is when a birth mother decides not to follow through with her adoption plan. In the state of Florida, a birth mother cannot terminate her rights or sign a consent for adoption until after the birth of her baby. She can make an adoption plan during her pregnancy and even accept living expenses from the prospective adoptive parents prior to the birth; however, she maintains the right to change her mind at any time after the birth of the baby and prior to signing the consent for adoption.

The truth is not all adoption matches end in adoption. The birth mother may have found support she did not have in the beginning. The birth father may have re-entered her life or she may decide that she is going to reach deep down and do whatever she needs to do to be able to keep her child.

When the adoptive parents receive the call and hear the matched has failed, the grieving begins. It is important to allow yourself to grieve and experience the denial, the sadness, the anger, the fear and worry, the guilt, and the acceptance. It would be nice if the stages were all in order and one knew what to expect, but they do not. Grief is some of the hardest work we will ever do; however, take the time you need to heal. Seek the support of friends, family and a counselor. Allow yourself alone time away from having to explain or answer questions.

It is the birth mother’s child and her choice. She is the one faced with the ultimate heartache. A failed adoption is only perceived that way by the prospective adoptive family and the adoption entity. For the birth mother, it is a chance to parent her child when she may have believed she could not.

When you are matched with a birth mother, it is okay to be excited and to hope, but also be prepared. If the birth mother decides to parent it is okay to be sad and disappointed. Don’t let anyone talk you out of what you are feeling, not even yourself.

Remember, when one door closes, another one will open. You will know when you are ready to knock again. It is good to hope again and feel the joy of being a match again. There is a season to cry and a season to laugh. Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning. You will survive a failed match and one day say, you were worth the wait.

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The Holidays are Upon Us

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Mon, 16 Mar 2020 06:37:23 GMT

The Holidays are Upon Us

Christmas and New Years! It is both a time of reflection and a time of making plans for the future. For those of you with an adoption plan, whether you are looking to adopt or looking to place a baby for adoption: What do you think about around the holidays?

It is the time when a birth mother thinks of that precious baby that she placed for adoption with the family she selected. It is a time she misses her baby and yet a time when adoptive parents are happy for the gift the birth mother gave them. It is a time when the birth mother can rest in knowing her child is fully cared for and loved and reassured of this when she receives photos and updates.

The adoptive parents reflect on the fact that without their birth mother, they would not be putting all of those toys together (and realizing just how difficult it really is). They would not be preparing for photos with Santa or enjoying the laugh of a child on Christmas morning.

There are prospective adoptive parent who may be longing for the time when a baby is in their arms. There is the prospective adoptive parent who is waiting and continuing to hope that their profile is going to jump off the pages to that right birth mother.

There are so many emotions and so many different thoughts coming and going. It may be a quick thought that comes and goes or it may be a moment of reflection accompanied with tears of sadness and/or tears of joy.

There are so many hopes for the adopted child from both sets of parents, the birth parents and the adoptive parents. It is so healthy for an adoptee to know how loved they are by so many. Although the birth parents are not with them and did not raise them, the birth parents love them deeply. They are loved. They are wanted. They have a bright future and so many rooting for their success.

Take a moment this season to reflect, to be thankful, to hug someone who needs it, to show appreciation to someone who deserves it and to affirm and express love to those around you.

Happy Holidays from all of us to all of you!

Faced With A Difficult Decision……Part 3

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Fri, 13 Mar 2020 06:37:42 GMT

Faced With A Difficult Decision……Part 3

How will my child feel about me? Will they hate me? Will they be mad at me? Will they think I did not love them? One birth mother said, “ I am mad at my father for leaving me. Will my child be mad at me?” Her father left her and did not make a plan for her. He just left her and did not have contact with her again. He did not get updates on how she was doing in school. He did not get updates on what sports she played or if she was in dance. He did not ask for pictures of her. That is different, that is abandonment. That is not making an adoption plan out of love.

Adopted children are taught at an early age that they have two sets of parents who love them deeply. Adoption is not a secret anymore. It is healthier for a child to know that they have two sets of parents who love them; the adoptive family who is raising them and the birth family that made an adoption plan so that the child could have a fulfilling life.

Think about writing your child a letter or picking out a special gift or keepsake that you can send along with your baby. Something that expresses your love and hopes that you have for your child.

Did you know that Faith Hill, five Grammy Award winning artist, was adopted? Look what she had to say about her birth mother:

“I have a lot of respect for my birth mother … I know she must have a lot of love for me to want to give me what she felt was a better chance.” — Faith Hill

What Happens in the Hospital? Part 2

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 06:37:52 GMT

What Happens in the Hospital? Part 2

Who would you like to visit you and support you while you are in the hospital? Who is it that you definitely know you do not want to visit you in the hospital? Who would you like in the delivery room with you? I had one birth mother tell me she had to have her mother in the delivery room as her mother was the only one who knew how to help her remain calm.

Sometimes a birth mother will invite the adoptive parents in the delivery room. What an honor to share that moment together when your child is born and both the birth parent(s) and the adoptive parent(s) are there. What a gift that is to your child as they are growing up and the adoptive parents can say, I was there the day you were born and we cried with your birth mother and we laughed with your birth mother. Your birth mother loved you so much and this was one of the hardest decisions she had ever been faced with, but she choose what she thought at the time was best for you. Now that is love, putting someone else’s needs before your own.

Being surrounded by supportive and helpful people is important during this time. Someone who will cry with you; laugh with you; hold you when you feel sad; and understand when you feel angry or guilty. Don’t be afraid to voice your needs and your desires for this important time.

During your hospital time, be sure to reach out to your adoption caseworker to answer any questions, to provide you with support and assist you through the process.

Prospective Adoptive Parent Profile Books

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Thu, 05 Mar 2020 07:41:10 GMT

I was told that the birth mother wants to see our profile book. What is a profile book????? When a birth mother is ready to select a family to adopt her child, the adoption entity takes them a handful of adoptive parents profile books to select from. If you are a good match based on your comfort level and the comfort level of the birth mother, we will take her your profile book to review. Making a profile book about your story may be intimidating. You are capturing your life in a book that is going to be previewed by birth parents who are making an adoption plan for their babies.

From The Perspective Of An Adoptee: Ryan Jon

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Fri, 28 Feb 2020 10:52:47 GMT

From The Perspective Of An Adoptee: Ryan Jon

Grab some Kleenex and visit the link below. Listen to Ryan Jon tell his adoption story. Whether you are a Birth Mother, an Adoptee, an Adoptive Parent or someone who just loves adoption, there is so much to learn and glean from these videos. It may confirm some of the very thoughts and feeling that you yourself have experienced.

Ryan Jon is being honest and real and you will not regret a moment spent watching these short interviews. He also interviews his adoptive mother (mum) and it is precious.

His hope is that if his birth mother views the videos and would like to find him, that she would. He is grateful to his birth mother for choosing adoption. This is all so beautifully said.

Ryan Jon’s YouTube Channel

Happy Mother’s Day

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Thu, 20 Feb 2020 16:36:40 GMT

Happy Mother’s Day

What can we say about other’s opinions of us? Just that….. they are only opinions, not truths. Many times our own opinion of ourselves is not true. Sometimes, we tend to be harder on ourselves than others.

What is a loving mother? One may say, “a mother that takes care of her child.” The ultimate way to care for a child when you cannot is to make an adoption plan. It is not abandonment or the lack of love. It is being very involved in their future and loving them enough to again make a decision that is in their best interest. When you make and adoption plan, you choose the adoptive family, meet the adoptive family, entrust the adoptive family with a child you love very much. You follow that child as they grow through pictures and letters. You know in your heart you did all you could do to ensure they have a fulfilling life. That is love, incomprehensible to some, but love just the same. You are a loving mother.

There will always be people imposing their own judgments and beliefs on us. No matter what they say, no matter what they believe, ultimately at the end of the day, the decisions I make are the ones that I know I can live with. The decisions I make, I know are the best due to the circumstances in my life. The decisions I make, I know are made out of love. You are a loving mother.

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Faced with a Difficult Decision……Part 2

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Fri, 14 Feb 2020 16:36:41 GMT

Faced with a Difficult Decision……Part 2

Apr 24, 2017

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Faced with a Difficult Decision… Part 1

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 15:36:42 GMT

Faced with a Difficult Decision… Part 1

Deciding to make an adoption plan for your baby is a difficult decision. Many decisions we make are based on myths, emotions and fears. In order to make a good decision we need to be informed about the matter and base our decision on the facts and the truth.

Many mothers fear they are letting their child down when the truth is the choice to make an adoption plan is so your child can have a fulfilling life with opportunities to succeed. It is because you want what is best for your child. It is because you love them so much, you are putting their needs before your own. This does not look like someone who is letting their child down.

You may be in a difficult living situation where you are homeless, or you are in a violent relationship, or you are struggling with addictions. Whatever the situation may be, you know in your heart, this is not what I want for my child. That is okay. There is no shame in that, only strength that you could make a responsible choice for this child. Birth mothers are strong not weak.

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What Happens in the Hospital? Part I

trevor@strattex.co (Trevor Shirk) — Wed, 31 Jul 2019 06:39:06 GMT

What Happens in the Hospital? Part I

Every birth mother can plan her own hospital stay and we call it her Hospital Plan. It is good to plan ahead and think about what is important to you.

What are some things you would like to do in the hospital? Would you like some time alone with the baby to talk to them and let them know you love them? Would you like some time with the adoptive parents and the baby? Would you like to have pictures taken of you and the baby? Would you like to have pictures taken of you and the adoptive parents and the baby? Would you like to bring the baby a gift to send with them? Would you like to write the baby a letter to send with them?

There is so much to think about and so many decisions to make. In my years of working in adoptions, I have seen birth mothers do many different things at the hospital. Some do not want to see the baby at all and would rather the adoptive family care for the baby in their own room or in the nursery. Some birth mothers have wanted to care for the baby the whole time they are in the hospital. Other birth mothers have done a little of both, had some time with the baby and had the adoptive parents care for the baby part of the time as well and some have shared the baby care with the adoptive parents in the hospital room.

There is no right or wrong hospital plan. It all depends on what you are comfortable with and what memories you want to create. It is an emotional time. There will be tears of joy and tears of sadness. That is why it is important to plan ahead what is important to you, so you do not get swept up in the moment or the emotions and look back and say, “I wish I had…..”. Pack your camera, bring your phone charger, and purchase that gift ahead of time.

We have trained staff who will assist you in developing a hospital plan that fits your needs.